What Inspired “Its Almost Tuesday”

What Inspired “Its Almost Tuesday”

Its Almost Tuesday

“It’s Almost Tuesday” is a fictional story based on true events, using a young child’s exact words when possible. I was approached by an advocate asking for me to write a poem for child abuse awareness month. I agreed and was happy to do so. I love to write.

“Its Almost Tuesday” depicts true incidents reported within the Texas Foster Care System.

I had researched on the Child Care lookup site for TDPRS’s required reporting of foster home incidents. While this story is fictional, in the the situations are based upon the incidents of abuse that occur were occurring in the foster homes I was looking up. I took notes and pictures at my son’s visits, and I logged everything I could remember after I left the visits. I suspected abuse, and began to compare those notes to the visit recordings, and look up incidents that were reported online trying to figure out what might be happening to my son in foster care.

My son was abused for months before it became too obvious for CPS to hide.   I still don’t know what exactly happened to him. The worst day of my life, seeing my son bloody and bruised, was the best day of his life during that time, because it was the visit that led to him getting out of foster care. The irony is sickening.

He never did come home though.

I was placed under a gag order and my website depicting a timeline of events as they happened was shut down. He was placed elsewhere, name changed, and location information sealed. As of 2009 I haven’t seen or talked to him in 4 years.

There was one tape that had us talking softly near the end.  A woman was crying in the background and the caseworker was talking on a phone, so its hard to hear.  I often listened to these tapes and realised I’d forgotten things that were said, or details, and I had listened to this one, and at the end my son said, “blahblah..(something inaudible) … I just screamed…(something inaudible)” … and I couldn’t remember what he’d said to me. So I listened again, and again, and again.  It wasn’t clear enough to hear.

So I changed it from the tape onto digital, listening to it on the computer, it was still hard to hear, so I downloaded programs to tweak it, and extract the sounds. I changed speakers, I changed the baud rate. I did this with a fervent obsession.  Why was he screaming.  Why?

I spent over a year trying to find out why my baby screamed.  This was my secret ritual when I had any time alone.  I screamed too. I cried, and got so frustrated, and listened over and over again.  The one sentence and the woman crying in the background and the caseworker repeated the same thing over and over in my head, driving me crazy.

Until that day I heard the tape absolutely clearly… and I knew why he screamed.  For me.  Little does he know, I screamed too.

That was the inspiration for my story.

I miss my 8 year old boy who is growing up without me. In my memories, dreams and mind, he will always be 8 years old to me… I will never hear his child voice again say “I love you Mommy”, its gone. I never got to say goodbye.

The incidents in the story are based on reports I had read and things that he said at the visits that I remember all too well.  Since only he and I visited, and often even the caseworkers were not paying attention, these are memories that only he and I share.  Memories that I cannot carry alone, or allow him to, when I know he’s not the only child, and we’re not the only family.

That time of my life terrorized and traumatized me. As a mother feeling so helpless and so guilty for the mistakes I made.

When I was asked to write something, I had no problem coming up with ideas, the story was already written in my head. Within 3 hours, I had written, by hand, in a notebook and on scrap paper & napkins, the story “Its Almost Tuesday” with two alternate endings; and called her back to let her know it was finished. Other than a few minor changes and grammatical corrections, the story was final in its first raw draft. We chose an ending between the two I had written, and it was first posted for child abuse awareness month in 2005.

Foster homes are meant to be a placement of safety for children removed from their family homes due to abuse or neglect.  When foster care abuse occurs- something is terribly wrong.


5 responses to “What Inspired “Its Almost Tuesday””

  1. justiceadvocate Avatar

    I am going through almost exactly what Mary has gone through in the Collin County Court System. I feel for her and broke-down several times while reading about her story. I have been a victim of Domestic Violence to my husband, the abuser who has beat & battered me throughout our marriage. There are at least thirty (30) Police Incidents and i finally obtained a Protective Order that Collin County will not enforce because they say it is out of there jurisdiction and that I need to see the City of Dallas. Likewise, the City of Dallas says that it is out of there jurisdiction and that the constable of Collin County is the one to enforce these Protective Order Matters. Collin County says thay dont know what Dallas is talkiing about. I pay taxes to both. Neither one is helping me and my husband is continuing to take steps to follow-through on his threats to kill me. Something needs to be done, but I don’t know where to turn.

  2. catlady143 Avatar

    I had a feeling that the first place I should check on this site was what inspired… I was right to do so because I can relate to so much. My son screamed as well. Nobody cared or cares but me. I screamed and scream still. I can also relate about how they will always be a certain age and how some things you do when u are alone and have the time and internet access. The memories only him and I share and how i never got to say goodbye or klet him know he did nothing wrong and that I love him and want him but they wont let him come home. Its been almost 3 years since I have seen him and longer since I have actually gotten to spend time with him. The foster caregivers (so called) former maintainance man came to my house a few months ago. He told me he found my house after him and the foster mother had followed me from wal-mart a few months prior to that (why they didnt just get my address off court papers i dont know because unlike their address mine was not kept confidential from anyone) but he said my children are being badly abused and since they had moved the abuse has escalated to the point where he is afraid that she will lill one of the kids. also her 14 year old natural son tied up my 3 year old daughter and a same age foster sibling boy naked and took pictures of them and when the foster mom found out she just laughed and deleted the pictures from the boys phone. DCFS did not care, neither did the sheriffs who were far more concerned with why he took so long to say anything than they did my kids being beaten so badly that the guy feared for their lives. so yes i have more reason to scream now. i am involved with a group called govabuse and we are going to be doing a nationwide protest at every childrens/family/juvenile court in the country on september 28, 2012. anyone interested can call me at (661)524-5183 or (661)839-5183 or visit online at: http://govabuse.com we had some sucess after lasts years protest and a lot of changes were made. unfortunately an end to hearing my sons screams in the night and in my dreams and nightmares was not one of them. hopefully it will be. i just hope the are not murdered before that happens by the foster caregiver. The story of what inspired made me start balling my eyes out and i still am because oh the things we do when we are alone. and oh the memories. i only hope my children do not become one of so many children who have been PROTECTED TO DEATH

  3. Julian's Real Mummy Avatar

    I cry with you for my son, who, in my mind is still 5–the age when the was kidnapped under the color of law and in conspiracy against our rights. He is seven now. He lives with his alleged abuser and/or sexual abuser, as reported by my son (“play therapist,” Kim A. Abernethy of Houston, Texas may have played a role in planting allegations, but it is really a 65/35%, if not 70/30% split in my mind that something happened. We did everything we were told to do, by everyone, and this is what happened, for following the “law.” When the “law” becomes a criminal, one is not obligated to participate in criminal activity (citing Olmstead, 1926, US Supreme Court, off the top of my head, I believe may be part of citation on that).
    There has been no meaningful contact in over two years. I also promise to never quit silently screaming and crying for the children and parent(s) of every story I read like this that I promise to never forget so as to make sure such lives were not lived in vain.

    1. 14thdaymom Avatar

      I am truly sorry every time I learn of another suffering the same kind of loss as I did. I offer you a prayer for solace and gratitude that you shared . May you reunite with your son one day. Godspeed.

      1. Julian's Real Mummy Avatar

        Thank you so much for your blessing! I really appreciate your support. I am so sorry for your pain as well.

        I take all of the horrendous horrors of those individuals similarly situated that I read daily to heart and commit them to memory and pray for daily deliverance for all of us Real Mommies and Daddies of the Real America,…but most of all, to our little natural property–extensions of our physical bodies imbued with the divine spirit of Creator and Founding Father from whom the Original source of all life and free will and choice to act or omit. The thieves and wicked Pharisees who mercilessly stole our “property,”–Gifts from God and naturally of divine law and right as a matter of fact, law, truth, and constitutionally mandated construction to be construed in the light most favorable to individuals so deprived and violated under the color of law or otherwise will be brought to Real justice that has been delayed and denied to the Lord’s most precious humble inspirit and pure of heart, children, orphans, widows not yet married, oppressed, and materially poor…soon, or so my sincere hope, faith, and confidence (and a few benevolent whisperers). “The Cavalry is Coming!”

        Please do stay in-touch and write to me. I would love to hear about yours and your child(rens’) trials or crosses and lawless crimes of the “protectors” or “helpers” and unlawful legal enforcers that you have been forced, or…privileged to bear and to overcome, wrongfully and strangely cruelly, no doubt, and most likely at the sadistic and twisted pleasure of said individuals at the expense (without due, full, fair, and just compensation) of your “life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness,” at least.

        I will be checking and your site and, with your permission, adding a link on my “Blogs and Websites” Page (accessible from the Menu). I am currently fighting for all of our constitutional and natural, common law and “unalienable” rights against all odds, sui juris, in propria persona, de jure…in Harris County (Houston), Texas. “Take heart and have courage” (The Holy Bible, repeated throughout, all real versions), though this quote be widely accessible to all individuals regardless of gender, marital status, race, color, creed or financially-motivated ideology, birth, actual or engineered, temporary socioeconomic or political status.

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