Month: October 2018

Removing Children from their homes IS a big deal…

by 14thdaymom


My last post about the BREAKING NEWS in Houston where a judge made an unprecedented move when ordering CPS to have NO CONTACT with children it removed from their natural home.

At the end of the video a statement is made that I think needs to be reiterated, and that’s how big a deal it is to take a child from their parents.



It is against the constitutional rights of the parents and the kids!

How big a deal is it? Its been 14 years since my son was taken from me. We have since been reunited now that he’s an adult, but not without scars. As I tried to share in my posts about ambiguous loss, parents often learn the hard way, as I did, how hard it will be when they meet back up with their kids one day.

The expectations of what will happen when they reunify and what actually happens are not the same. It blindsides them when what they’ve built up in their minds are expectations almost impossible to meet. Kids who were separated from their families grow into dysfunctional adults, and the parents never heal.


The family in Houston lost their children for three days. That’s horrible and it’s awesome to know it was acknowledged as wrong. I lost TEN YEARS with my son. The judge showed justice in their case, but there’s countless other families who did not get that justice. It is a big deal to take children from their families. It’s such a big deal that it NEVER GOES AWAY.

No matter what. It is a lifelong curse. The kids become a case number to the social worker but the social worker becomes the person that changed that kids life path entirely. A decision like that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

There is nothing that can make that right. There would be no amount of money that could fix the damage done to my relationship with my son. There is no telling how our lives would have fared if he had not been taken from me. NOTHING can mend that pain that I still feel EVERY DAY, even 14 years later. Some days are better than others. Some days I might almost go without thinking about it, but something will always remind me. Some days I can’t escape it. I can’t go back in time, and I can’t erase the memories. I still feel the anger and have to stuff it inside. I still carry guilt just comes with the questions … the could’ve been, should’ve been torture.

Its been 14 years and still it is a big deal. Fortunately I have the support and understanding of two people very close to me. My husband who was put in a boys home 30 years ago but recalls it like it was yesterday. My best friend sadly understands as well since she lost her kids too many years ago. She still has not reunited with hers. They are adults now too, after 9 years since they were separated. She suffers the grief so deeply. It truly haunts her.

I can talk to her or my husband any time I need to. i know it’s been 14 years and sometimes I catch myself feeling like I’m just repeating myself over and over again. I know that they’ve both heard my story and thoughts a thousand times over.

They know that they’ve heard my story before. Still, they listen to me with understanding and compassion like it’s the first time I’ve told them.

That’s because they understand how big a deal it was when my kid was taken from me.

If only the CPS workers had understood what a big deal it was when they took him from me.

drug abuse, psychotropic medications
Creating a Generation of Addicts


Generation of Addicts With ADHD Medication?

How safe is it for our kids to be taking narcotic medications every day?



During his freshman year, Jack’s grades started slipping. He found it hard to keep up. He knew several classmates who used uppers for extra boosts when they needed them. In hopes of finding an endless supply of energy (and improving his grades), Jack decided to fake the symptoms of ADHD so he could get an Adderall prescription.

It worked.

Since the symptom criteria is fairly ambiguous – and has become even less strict in recent years – this wasn’t difficult to do. His shrink wrote the script…and Jack started a pattern of drug abuse that shaped the rest of his life.

  • ADHD is easy to fake. A 2010 study revealed that one in four diagnoses of adult ADHD involved faked symptoms – and this wasbefore the diagnostic criteria were relaxed.

Women pouring medicine into hand.


Wyatt was one of the youngest kindergarteners in his class.

He was struggling with reading and was often distracted by the many other fun opportunities around the room. His teacher spoke with his parents, who consulted with a psychiatrist, who, in turn, diagnosed Wyatt with ADHD. Within a month, he was taking highly potent drugs to control his symptoms.

Wyatt’s grandmother pointed out that he was barely five years old and that being curious, active and distractible used to be considered normal – even healthy – for that age. Wyatt’s parents dismissed her input, assuming the doctor knew best – the same doctor whose practice is closely tied with the pharmaceutical company.

  • Research shows children in kindergarten are much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than their older classmates. This strengthens the argument that ADHD diagnoses are often based on non-pathological, normal human imperfections. Being forgetful or distracted happens to everyone, especially when you’re barely past the diaper stage.


Aiden’s parents were frazzled. At nine, Aiden behaved more like a three-year-old. He was often hyper, seemed to get into everything and never wanted to sit still. They got tired of finding things to entertain him and were weary of fighting with him to pay attention. They knew many children today receive medication to help with these issues, so they took Aiden to a doctor.

After a ten-minute discussion with his parents – and an even briefer exam of the child – Aiden’s doctor diagnosed him with ADHD and sent his parents home with a prescription for Ritalin.

Now Aiden is docile, quiet and compliant. He doesn’t eat much on the days he takes his medication, and he has a lot less personality now, but his parents don’t have to work as hard to manage him.

  • In some areas of the U.S., roughly half of boys in grades three to five are on ADHD medication. Several experts in child care and addiction point out that pharmaceutical companies take advantage of desperate parents who are simply looking for ways to help their children. And though the same group of experts admits many of these children have legitimate problems, in their collective   opinion,those issues rarely warrant drugs like Ritalin, Adderall and Vyvanse.

Over-Diagnosed and Over-Medicated

In 2011, the CDC reported 11 percent of our nation’s children were diagnosed with ADHD; two-thirds of those kids were prescribed medication.

Alan Schwarz, author of ADHD Nation: Children, Doctors, Big Pharma, and the Making of an American Epidemic,reports the numbers are now up to one in seven American children diagnosed with ADHD.

Dr. C. Keith Conners, “father of ADHD” and the man who discovered Ritalin’s effect on children, believes that only two to three percent of these kids actually qualify for a diagnosis.So many young lives are being shaped by powerful drugs that many experts say are unnecessary. These potent pharmaceuticals – Adderall, Ritalin and Vyvanse – all have the potential for addiction and abuse.

We are putting highly potent prescription narcotics in the hands and minds of thousands of young children. Can we expect anything but disaster?

Risks vs Results

With the trending increase in prescriptions, emergency room visits due to ADHD medications have soared 400 percent in the past seven years. A study of FDA data discovered 19,000 complications directly related to ADHD medications. And while we’re mostly still in the dark regarding long-term effects, the FDA data does currently list two long-term concerns: fatal heart attacks and kidney failure.

Is the next generation becoming dependent on medications they don’t need? Possibly. Will they all become addicts? Probably not. But when children grow up taking narcotics every day, they easily become desensitized to the dangers of drug use. When half the kids in their class are on some form of stimulant already, what’s the big deal if they try some other meds too? And if it’s okay to take narcotics to help them focus, why not try something else to make them feel happy, or relaxed or outgoing?

Simply put; when drugs are the first solution society turns to for managing children’s behavior, can we expect anything less from the children? When the doctor’s knee-jerk reaction is to medicate, children get the impression that self-medication is no big deal.

Additional Reading:Study: Abuse of ADHD Meds is Beginning Earlier

Substance Abuse Stats