Category: false allegations

false allegations
How pedophiles use “Patsy’s” to get away with child sexual abuse – Two True MUST READ Stories

(Trigger Warning: This post may contain information about the topic of sexual abuse that may be sensitive in nature to some readers )

I have thought about this article allot before writing it. This is very difficult.

I am not writing it to gain anything, but in hopes that someone reading it does. ..

gain knowledge…awareness…

the truth…

I don’t want anyone to go through this, but I know many will…

So maybe this will make a difference somewhere to someone…

somehow…

There’s a sad truth called sexual abuse that we really don’t want to talk about, but we must.

There are perpetrators of sexual abuse that we don’t ever want to know, but we do.

There are mistakes that are made and reality becomes something we don’t want to face, but we have no choice.

The truth is, children are sexually abused. There’s no sense ignoring it. It does not make it go away.

Sometimes the wrong person is blamed, and the abuser gets away with it….this does not necessarily happen because of an error in judgment, or a lack of concern, but something far more sinister…

It happens on purpose.

Yes, on purpose. By design; following a perpetrators methodical plan..with an end goal being to abuse more and to get away with it.

This article will show you how they do it, so you and i can possibly stop one of them.

Protect your child with open eyes.

The following two stories are true cases where this horrific type of situation occurred. I know this topic is a difficult one. It is disgusting, vile, immoral, and sad. It is still vitally important to talk about, even if we don’t want to. Why? Because cases like these that are not isolated. They happen all the time, and if the abuser has his way, it will happen again, on purpose.

Pedophiles and child molesters are everywhere. They look like anyone you meet. They prey on children, and, most of the time, the children know them.

The predator must rely on others to trust him, need him or fear him. without at least one of those elements, the predator cannot gain the compliance he needs to abuse. Sometimes the child even loves their abuser.

Sexual abuse destroys that innocent trust (and the ABILITY to trust) by exploiting the fears and needs of the victim. They intertwine themselves into their victims lives, devastate families, and change their victim into someone new.

They do all of this harm for their own sexual gratification, and their need to fulfill it, without getting caught.

They plot, plan, and seek out their victims. They must groom them -a process by which they slowly work with the victim until the predator feels confident they have gained the trust and silence of their victim before introducing the actual sexual abuse.

First they must find their victim, prepare their victim and then, finally, they abuse their victim. It’s a process.

Pedophiles are sick …and the sickness doesn’t go away..

They are notoriously incurable, and will usually re-offend, having more than one victims. Sex offenders who molest children have many traits in common, and when they are caught, you can bet they don’t get caught with their first victim, or on their first abuse. Usually they have had many victims prior to getting caught, or they have abused many times.

They do not rehabilitate very easily or very often, and did I mention, that most of the time, they will re-offend?

Abusers comes in all shapes, sizes, genders, race and with different preferences. Victims can and are both male and female alike. No one is immune. Do not be misconstrued about the appearance of a predator, they don’t always look like three monster they are.

The abuser is a predator and predators hunt. The predator is opportunistic. Like any predator on the hunt, if he sees the opportunities laid out before him, he will jump on it. Sometimes he must make his own opportunities. He must be-friend a child, or the parent of a child, in order to gain access to the child.

The predator loves to see an opportunity to have a ‘patsy’… another innocent person to take the blame for their abuse they are committing against a child. I have two such stories to tell you.

The end result of sexual abuse is tragic, and as you’ll read, the truth is sometimes not revealed until far too late.

Here is the story of a little girl ill call “Child A “-

Child A was 4 years old when the abuse began. Her abuser was her mother’s 2nd husband. Child A was born to parents who were teenagers. The couple had split up when she was 2 years of age, and found themselves caught in a bitter divorce and custody battle before they could even legally purchase alcohol. However the contention was not between the two of them, but the maternal grandmother had intervened and filed suit and she wanted custody.

The mother was only 16 when she got pregnant with child A, and out of selfless love for her daughter, she admitted she wasn’t ready to be a full time single mother. A bitter pill to swallow. The mother also knew that fighting in a custody battle would just add to the already volatile conflict.

The mother made the difficult decision to back up from the court battle. She settled for sporadic visitations on the 5th weekends of the months. She would have the ability to stay in contact with her daughter and be involved in school functions, advised of any pertinent health matters, etc etc. Since most months only had 4 weekends, this meant she only had possession of her daughter every few months for one weekend.. but she talked on the phone, had lunch at school with her, and stayed active in her child’s life.

The mother had a boyfriend who ultimately became her 2nd husband, the stepfather. They lived together when child A was 4 years old, so most of the time, he was there when her daughter would visit. The mother rarely, if ever, left her daughter alone with her boyfriend, not because she mistrustd him, but mainly because she cherished every minute she had with her.

At the time, the custody battle between her father and the maternal grandmother had reached a boiling point. It became brutal. The two adversaries were in and out of court on a regular basis. They fought over everything, seemingly petty issues. The temporary orders they were going by were ridiculously detailed. They fought over everything from child support, visitation, to cutting the child’s hair, piercing her ears, the clothes she wore between the two houses, even hair barrettes. You name it, they fought over it- and they were going back and forth to Court all the time to “clarify” the orders on any issue. Honestly, it was bad.

So when the maternal grandmother accused the father of sexual abuse, many people who knew the situation werent surprised. The child’s mother, always felt like the allegations were outlandish against her ex. She just believed it, at first, to be one more ridiculous ploy the grandmother came up with, designed to try to deprive the child’s father of custody.

A social worker was brought in to investigate, and the child made an outcry…

“My daddy hurt me with my white panties”….

Things got very real at that point. For everyone. Ploy or not, things went from ridiculously annoying to damn serious.

The little girl was subjected to sexual abuse exams and the mother and father was subjected to interrogations. The father was adamant in proclaiming his innocence, and he was terrified. He had remarried and begun a new family and these false allegations against him could possibly cost him his new family. He already lost jobs, spent untold amounts of money on attorneys, and endured strikes against his reputation. He suffered from the stress, and the unimaginable trauma of being falsely accused of the heinous crimes.

The allegations were severe but after investigations were complete, the allegations of sexual abuse was never substantiated against him.

The custody battle continued on for an unbelievable total of 14 years before it finally ended when the child was a teenager.

Ten years later… At age 14, child A had, four the first time, talked about her abuse. She told a friend from school about the sexual abuse committed against her a decade before by her stepfather, that began when she was four years old. Abuse that her father had been accused of… abuse that turned so many lives upside down..

How did this happen?

When the predator was abusing he saw an opportunity. He knew, due to the raging court battle between the father and the grandmother, that any sexual abuse allegations would easily come against the father and easily believed by others that the father had perpetrated the abuse. There was the perfect person or ‘patsy’ opportunity right before him. He knew the grandmother would jump to that conclusion and use it in court. He also knew, given the child’s young age, she was easily manipulated and not necessarily credible.

Child molesters are meticulous in their abusing routine. From the choosing of a victim to how they go about carrying out their abuse, they are methodical and deliberate, in all they do.

The abuser in this case called himself “daddy” to the little girl as he abused her. In doing so …he perfectly set up the situation so that when the outcry was initially made, it was made against her “daddy”… shifting all focus and blame to the child’s father.

By the time the child grew older, age 14, when she told her friend the true identity of her abuser, that friend went to the school counselor with the information. However the authorities and CPS did not see much reasoning in pursuing charges, insofar as much time had passed, and Child A was no longer at risk of being abused by that perpetrator, as he and her mother had long since split up. Both had moved on, with new spouses and other children, and were living new lives. Of course, for him, that meant new victims.

As I said earlier, by the time they are caught, it’s usually the first time they abuse a child. There’s usually several previous occasions or victims that they got away with. In this case, the perpetrator had moved on, remarried a woman with a little girl, and abused her for several years without incident. That is, until Child A told her friend who told the school. That launched a snowball effect which ultimately led to the investigation of this man and his relationship to his new stepdaughter. Eventually, that girl confided in a friend at her school in a note she wrote detailing the years of abuse. A note that was found by her mother, who took it to authorities.

He was finally caught.

That monster is serving several concurrent sentences of 40 years each, and a couple 20 year sentences, for his abuse against his stepdaughter that spanned almost 6 years. It is unlikely he will ever be released.

Child A’s father was finally vindicated.

The next story I’ll call Child B.

Child B was, once again, the subject of a bitter custody battle where allegations were made against the mother’s second husband. Although the investigations were unable to determine if the abuse occurred or by whom, the mother eventually signed over custody to her ex, to end the allegations against her new husband who she believed was innocent.

Years passed that the mother did not even get to see Child B. It was tragic.

Then one day news broke that the couple’s old next door neighbor is being looked at for sexual Abuse of another child. Thats when the mother realised it could have conceivably been their ex neighbor who abused Child B. That neighbor never liked Child B’s new husband, and was always interested in the status of the custody battle. He always seemed extra interested in Child B, spending time with her, but until the confusion of the custody battle passed and the new realizations came out several years later, the mother had not seen the signs.

Child B is a case still unresolved. The trauma the like girl endured was severe. It’s taken many Year’s for her to regain a sense of normalcy and to begin thriving again.

Almost ten years old now, Child B has reached a good point in her life where she is healthy again. The mother has gotten back some visitations with her daughter, and both mother and father have decided not to discuss the abuse with her. Hopefully when Child B is ready, she will talk about it. They will continue to monitor the situation with their old neighbor from afar, and they were hopeful that the truth will be found without reopening any traumatic investigations in Child B’s now thriving life. They simply feel it would prove too much for the girl.

Her stepfather, however, has finally been vindicated.

So as you can see, these predators will take the opportunities they see to abuse.

This can be prevented by staying vigilant, eyes wide open, to everyone whose in your life. Use discretion when sharing information about situations you may be going thru, like custody battles or marital problems. Keep those things to yourself. Pay attention to anyone showing unusually high interest in your child, making readings to be alone with your child, offering rides, or to babysit. Takes notice of anyone who seems interested only in the Child, and not in adult company. Who seems to want to become closely knit in the Child’s life. Don’t discount anyone it can be a neighbor, coach, family friend, or even a family member. Keep your eyes open and communicate with your child about whose around them. Teach them what’s appropriate and not inappropriate and let them know you are the for them. Make them feel safe to talk to you should anything happen.

Hopefully this will never be a reality for your family, but if it does come to your door, remember to always keep aware of your child’s surroundings. Don’t let the moments focus you in the wrong direction. If the wrong person gets accused, the real predator gets away with it, and continues to abuse.

Godspeed.

awareness, child abuser, cps, custody, false allegations, family, home, love, parental alienation syndrome
Backlash Against Parental Alienation: Denial and Skepticism About Psychological Abuse

By Richard A Warshack, Psychologist and expert on P.A.S. @richardwarshack

This post is in honor of Parental Alienation Awareness Day—April 25.

A boy wrote a letter to his mother telling her that she belonged in a mental institution, that she was nothing to him, that she was nothing but a screw-up, that she was sick, selfish, that he wanted to have nothing to do with her or any of her relatives, and that he hoped she died a horrible, painful death. In other words, this boy disowned his mother with the most aggressive, vile, and hateful language.

The father’s attorney attempted to minimize the child’s alienation by claiming that the boy merely loved his dad a lot more than he loved his mom.

Attorneys spin the facts to zealously advocate for their clients’ positions. We expect it.

But what excuse do others have for denying the reality that a child can become irrationally alienated from a good and formerly loved parent? And for denying the reality that the child’s unjustified rejection of one parent can be traced to the other parent’s relentless manipulations to drive a wedge between child and parent?

How could anyone who works in the family law system deny the reality — affirmed nearly unanimously by legal and mental health professionals — that children can be influenced by one parent to turn against the other parent?

Encouraging a child to align with one parent against the other, and teaching a child to hate a parent for no good reason, is cruel. If a teacher did this to a student, bad-mouthed a child’s parents and systematically undermined the child’s love and respect for her parents, that teacher would be out of a job.

“Stealing the soul,” is how I described this process in DIVORCE POISON—enlisting children as agents in their own deprivation and violating children’s trust.

Leading authorities on divorce agree. Dr. Joan Kelly and Dr. Janet Johnston held no punches: “Whether such parents are aware of the negative impact on the child, these behaviors of the aligned parent (and his or her supporters) constitute emotional abuse of the child.”

Society has a checkered track record in recognizing and protecting children from abuse. Denial and minimization intermittently subdue awareness and acknowledgment. It has been this way with physical abuse, with sexual abuse, and with psychological abuse. So we should not be surprised that a subculture of parents and professionals denies that children can be manipulated to reject a parent for no good reason—or that they go so far as to claim that most children will turn against the parent who is abusing them in these ways.

How do deniers rationalize their apparent blindness?
Here are five strategies.

1. Deflect attention from the reality of divorce poison and its destructive impact with debates about whether parental alienation constitutes a bona fide syndrome. The claim is that because the official manual of psychiatric diagnoses (DSM-5) does not include the term “parental alienation,” the problem must be bogus. You also will not find “reckless driving syndrome” in the DSM-5. But you would be wise to avoid getting in a car with a driver who has this problem. Children need protection from reckless, toxic parenting, regardless of how we label the parent’s behavior. Moreover, the DSM-5 does refer to the concept of irrational parental alienation. The diagnostic manual mentions “unwarranted feelings of estrangement” as an example of the diagnosis: Parent–Child Relational Problem.

To the parent who loses her child, or the child who loses a parent, it matters little whether we label the loss a syndrome, a disorder, a condition, or a problem. What matters is whether a child is suffering and whether a parent’s behavior contributes to a child’s suffering.

2. Claim that it is only a speculation, hypothesis, or theory that children can become alienated from one parent when exposed to the other parent’s negative influence. As I explained in my article, “Bringing Sense to Parental Alienation,” there is nothing theoretical or speculative about the existence of irrationally alienated children. These children can be directly observed by anyone willing to look.

3. Attribute unsupportable, fake positions to parental alienation studies, and then refute the fake positions—a tactic known as “attacking a straw man.” For instance, a recently published study claimed that “the alienation hypothesis” (see denial strategy #2 above) maintains that parental denigration is only unilateral, not reciprocal, and that all children exposed to parental denigration become alienated from the target of denigration. When the study found that a group of volunteer college students reported that both parents denigrated each other, and the children did not reject either parent, the authors of the study concluded that “the alienation hypothesis” was not supported and that parental denigration does not cause children to reject the parent who is denigrated.

The problem with this line of reasoning is that no scholar has claimed that parental denigration necessarily leads to a child rejecting the denigrated parent. Of course many children whose parents badmouth each other maintain relationships with both parents. Rejecting a parent is an extreme consequence, not a common one. Furthermore, anyone who has worked with irrationally alienated children knows that these children are reluctant to admit that their favored parent maligned their other parent— in fact, these children are reluctant to admit anything negative about the parent whom they favor.

Researchers who genuinely want to learn about the forces that lead children to irrationally reject a parent will begin by studying alienated children. Studying children who are not alienated merely makes the obvious point that their parents occasionally bad-mouth each other without alienating the children from either parent. This is the sort of “scholarship” that gives social science a bad odor because the study advocates for and confirms a bias against the existence of parental alienation.

4. Ignore studies that fail to support one’s pet theories. For example, while promoting skepticism about the notion that children can be manipulated by a parent to hate the other parent, the authors of the study mentioned above failed to cite the largest study, published by the American Bar Association, that explicitly attributed children’s problems to being brainwashed by one parent against the other. They also failed to cite the volume of scientific evidence about various mechanisms by which children’s attitudes can be influenced and by which negative stereotypes about a parent can be promulgated.

Children’s feelings and behavior toward each parent are influenced by the way their parents treat each other. Does any reasonable person seriously believe otherwise—that children are immune from a parent’s influence? If so, tell that to all the child psychologists and authors who study and write about how to raise smarter, healthier, happier, and better behaved children.

Ironically, one of the authors of the straw-man study, in a previous article, railed against scholars who selectively cite research that confirms their biases, a tactic he called “cherry picking” or “stacking the deck.” Pot, meet kettle.

5. Promulgate, or accept without investigation or critical scrutiny, dramatic and exaggerated claims that the evaluator, therapist, child representative, and judge in a case mistook a child’s justified rejection of a parent for unjustified alienation, or that children removed from toxic alienating environments have been abused by the family court system. Such claims are repeated without considering all the evidence weighed by the court in reaching its decision.

We have a lot to learn about the roots of parental alienation and about why some children become ensnared in a campaign of hatred toward a parent while others resist. And why some children draw closer to the target of bad-mouthing and reject the parent who dispenses divorce poison, a phenomenon called “blowback” in the video, WELCOME BACK, PLUTO: UNDERSTANDING, PREVENTING, AND OVERCOMING PARENTAL ALIENATION.

But the existence of parents who effectively teach their children to hate the other parent, and of children who absorb this lesson, is beyond dispute.

Exactly two weeks before Parental Alienation Awareness Day in 2017, British High Court Justice Russell delivered her judgment in a Liverpool family court case. She wrote, “By manipulating her children, [the mother] has achieved what she has always wanted and stopped contact with their father. She has done so either because she cannot help herself or because she had quite deliberately set out to expunge their father from their lives. These children have suffered significant emotional harm as a result of their mother’s manipulative actions.”

Do the deniers and skeptics think Justice Russell was deluded?

As journalist Kathleen Parker observed, “Anybody old enough to drink coffee knows that embittered divorcees can and do manipulate their children. Not just women, but men, too.”

We may not want to face the fact that some parents prey on the children in their charge—physically, sexually, or emotionally. Often these parents carefully groom children to engage in harmful acts that victimize children. Whether children are victims of sexual abuse or psychological abuse, we must not turn a blind eye to them.

The fact that some children are able to resist does not obscure the reality that such abuse exists. Professionals who feed denial and skepticism play into the hands of those who want us to look away.

Because deniers and skeptics contribute to a backlash against protecting psychologically abused children from efforts to alienate them from a parent, 13 years after it was introduced we still need Parental Alienation Awareness Day to shine a light on the plight of children and parents caught in this maelstrom, and to remind us that much work remains to be done.

#PAADay #ParentalAlienation

accountability, child, child custody, cps, custody, false allegations, parental alienation syndrome
Parental Alienation & Grief

The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent.

The primary person responsible for the induction of a parental alienation syndrome (PAS) in a child is the litigating parent who hopes to gain leverage in a court of law by programming in the child a campaign of denigration directed against a target parent.

In most cases alienated parents are relatively helpless to protect themselves from the indoctrinations and the destruction of what was once a good, loving bond. They turn to the courts for help and, in most cases in my experience, have suffered even greater frustration and despair because of the court’s failure to meaningfully provide them with assistance.

It is the author’s hope that increasing recognition by the judiciary of its failures to deal effectively with PAS families will play a role in the rectification of this serious problem.

(Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.)

by Dr. Barbara Steinberg

Q: A parent who has been alienated from his or her child’s life experiences extreme loss. Often we are asked by a targeted parent, “How do I deal with his on-going pain?”

A: First, know that you are not alone. There are others, both mothers and fathers, who have similar experiences, and who are in deep agony over the loss of contact and meaningful relationship with their children.

Second, know that you are not crazy. In our culture we are not encouraged to experience our grief. We are taught to be strong, to rise above it, to tough it out, to get over it and get on with life. Sometimes that is wise counsel if we linger in our pain, and our outrage becomes the complete focus of our life affecting our work, our social life and our spirit. However, the loss of a child whether by death or by exclusion from that child’s life is beyond the realm of most parents’ ability to cope.

In the beginning of an alienation process, we believe, as parents, this is not really happening. We deny that the other parent of our child is capable of these vengeful acts, and we choose not to believe our child, whom we love deeply, would ever treat us in such a hurtful ways.

Denial is the strongest emotional defense mechanism we have at our disposal, and it is the one on which we rely the most. For most parents, because they truly want contact and relationship with their child, their denial does not hold up under time or with the reality of the disconnection they experience.

Third, many parents feel confusion, which suggests they are not able to identify and process the bunch of emotions; they are experiencing in their gut. Usually, these can be separated into feelings of deep sadness, intense anger, extreme outrage, and desperate blame.

To keep from being overwhelmed by this internal “bucket of worms,” many parents detach from the situation that they believe is an act of self-preservation. Some bargain with them using the following logic, “My child will get what’s happened when he/she turns eighteen so I’ll just wait.” Both strategies are akin to whistling in the dark.

Fourth, targeted parents want to know how to deal with these strong emotions in healthy ways because if allowed to remain unreleased, they often gain a life of their own and emerge at inappropriate and inopportune times toward others who do not understand or deserve the depth and intensity of the feeling.

Sometimes, these emotions are held internally. In an attempt to self-medicate the resulting pain, the targeted parent turns to addictive behaviors or substances. Eventually, if strong emotions are held internally for a long period of time, they can convert into physical problems, which plague the individual for the remainder of his/her life.

So the dilemma remains, what do I do with my pain? Keeping a journal or diary is helpful, but strong emotions require active self-interventions. Many parents report feeling relief from their deep sadness by allowing themselves to cry and scream.

If you believe this might assist you in your process, to avoid embarrassment, it is wise to isolate yourself perhaps in a quiet, natural place so you can grieve in an unrestrained and unobserved way. It is also helpful to take a sequence of your child’s pictures so you can activate your feelings of loss.

Intense anger is a physical activator so you will need to participate in a focused activity such as bowling, driving golf balls at a range or hitting balls in a batting cage. A less expensive approach is throwing ice cubes at a sturdy wall, an activity, that parents report, gives a sense of relief and release from ever tightening bands of anger.

Outrage describes a parent who feels misunderstood so there needs to be some attention paid to “telling your story.” The problem is finding a receptive listener who has the patience and energy to hear the saga of hurt, frustration and humiliation more than once. Targeted parents can tell their story into a small tape recorder; they can write their story by hand into a journal, a loose-leaf notebook or a diary. They can use a word processor and store it on computer disc, or if they are creatively inclined, they can write poems to their children. Some parents have already published their story in books and poetry.

Of importance here is the intention to alleviate the outrage of misunderstanding that, as a parent, you are unimportant, even nonessential in your child’s life. Also, it is important that you be heard, and that you remind yourself that you are still a parent by keeping your child’s pictures around you. Another approach is to involve yourself in the parenting role with other children as a Godparent, as an involved uncle or aunt, as a Big Brother or Big Sister. Validating yourself as a parent can go a long way to heal feelings of outrage.

Finally, desperate blame is probably the most difficult bereavement issue to process. Some blame is justifiable: the other parent, the other parent’s family, the legal and social services system, your child, yourself. However, the only one under your jurisdiction of control is yourself so this is the part that you work with in three separate ways. First, it is critical, regardless of the attitude and reception from the other parent, from the other parent’s family and from your child that you stay in positive contact with them. Civility and cordiality in face-to-face contact is essential regardless of what is said in your presence or behind your back. In addition, sending your child cards, letters and little packages on unimportant days is appropriate. Also, communicating with your child by telephone, by e-mail and by facsimile can be effective. If you have completely lost contact with your child, then set your priority to find him/her and restore contact at least by distance. If this is impossible, then collect items and memorabilia in a special box or trunk reserved for your child and the possibility of future contact.

Second, become active as a citizen for positive change, and learn about the strengths and weaknesses of the system you blame for preventing you from having parenting opportunities with your child. This action may not change the disposition of your situation, but you may make the system a better place for other targeted parents and their children.

Third, for your sake and for the sake of your relationship with your child, it is imperative that you forgive the other parent. Notice there was no mention of forgetting what has happened, or how you have been treated, but again, for restoring your emotional balance and your ability to cope with life challenges in healthy ways, you will need to forgive the alienator.

For some, this is a spiritual journey, and for others the path is a secular one. What is important is that you go about this process in a unique way that you believe will work for you so the specter of losing your child is diminished, and your health and well being are in restoration.

arrest, awareness, child custody, child welfare reform, foster care abuse, cps, crime, domestic violence, false allegations, families
CPS Used My Decision to Home School I Was Charged with Truancy

One of the reasons my child was taken into foster care4 was an allegation against me of neglecting my son’s education, and not sending him to school.  This is how they managed to pull it off.

Early on in the new semester after winter break, I received a call from the school that my ex husband was calling the district trying to find out what school my son was going to.  This was a problem because my ex was under a domestic violence protective order requiring no contact with the child.  However, it did not tell the school not to disclose the name of the child’s school he was attending; and did not specify anything else on release of records.  If he came to the school and requested a copy of the file, they would have to give it to him, and/or telling my ex the name of the school might risk my child’s safety.

I decided to home school after having heard my ex threaten to “kidnap” my son, and fearing the worst I wanted to take no chances.  I kept my son home.

I used the Abeka Books Curriculum which is a very good program that had been used at my son’s private school in Florida, based on Christian teachings.  The curriculum is highly recommended, and is more than  competent to meet standards of home schooling in Texas.

Looking back

My first mistake was not withdrawing my son from school before removing him from attendance. That created the opportunity to be counted absent, and not for medical reasons.  Although the school had been made aware, especially since they first contacted me, that there was a problem, the custody issues involved in my situation came forth when my ex had begun to dispute the legal papers I had given the school. So the school decided to hold off on allowing me to withdraw my son until the “legal team” could review my legal papers at the district level.

We went back and forth for a period of time, my son missing  several weeks of school, technically, during all of this.  Although I was teaching my son at home the school district never sent a truancy officer to visit, and they never asked for documentation.  I did inform them in writing, and kept the copies of the correspondence in my files though.

After a couple of weeks, one week being spring break, there was much confusion as to my custody status and whether I was allowed to withdraw my son, since the separate custody battle had begun with a temporary restraining order placed on me, customary when suit is filed, so that the parent doesn’t remove the child from school.  The timing had just perfectly overlapped and caused enough confusion such that the school disallowed the withdrawal until they figured it all out.

Unfortunately in my case, I had unseen forces at work, being two other parties, the child’s father and grandmother, working together, to fool the outsiders, into removing my child from my care under the guise of I was not a good mother.  This opportunity came about when I removed him from school (out of fear he would be kidnapped) that they could say I didn’t care about his education and didn’t get him to school.  Of course if you compare it to her allegation that he lived with her at the same time (for the six months prior) you start to see the holes in the story, but with so many cases in the family courts who has time to truly look at the big picture when the immediate case can be stamped and moved along.

Another mishap that I didn’t realise had occured was when the school then sent a notice by certified mail to me  that they would be filing charges against me if I did not blah blah blah since I never got the letter, I don’t exactly know what it said.  The address they had on file had been my child’s grandmother’s address & not mine.   BIG MISTAKE.

I had recently moved to Texas on what was possibly meant to be a temporary basis, and was not sure where my son and I would stay for any length of time, so initially, in order to get my son back in school expeditiously, we used her address when I moved out of my brother’s house where we had been staying.

I forgot to change it or clarify anything regarding the address in the midst of the chaos at the time that caused me to fear sending my son to school in the first place; I should have done that immediately when I moved.

Again, in hindsight, that turned into another problem that played a huge role in my nightmare.  The other huge mistake of mine was relying on the deal I had worked out with the child’s grandmother, that he was picked up in the afternoons by her from school.  Normally, a grandmother picking up a child to keep until Mom or Dad get home seems perfectly acceptable; except when the grandmother has malicious intent. Although my son was brought to me once I returned home from work in the early evenings, it opened up for another opportunity for nefarious behavior on the grandmother’s part in order to secure her standing against me in court.

Since my son carpooled to school with his cousin, usually driven by my sister-in-law, I was rarely seen at the school on either morning dropoff or afternoon pickup.  This ultimately hurt my standing in court when it had been alleged that my son lived with the grandmother for six months prior to the filing of the case (a requirement by law before bringing suit against me in court for custody) in order to prove he lived with her, she could then used the schools’ familiarity with her being there with my son as proof, or evidence via witnesses and the teachers and school staff were easily fooled because they saw her with my son in the afternoons and not me.  This created ample collateral witnesses, and since CPS loves to use the public school as a place to interview and take children, it was very convenient for them as well in building a case.  I was working at a flower shop in the afternoons but my son was living with me even though the school thought he didn’t (unbeknownst to me).  I didn’t realise at the time that there was any such misunderstanding.  That’s the way they wanted it to be.

I was charged with four counts of Failure to Abide By Compulsory Attendance Laws which pretty much means pay a fine and get your child’s butt to school.

That’s when the worst doesn’t happen. In my case, it did.

So having sent my notice to the wrong address it allowed for the opportunity for the child’s grandmother to then sign for it but not tell me about it. Thus, i didn’t find out until too late, and I was charged after I missed the deadline to do whatever the letter  said – I believe it was to return my son to school in full attendance or face charges.  I missed the deadline, unknowingly, as my arch enemy and my exhusband both chuckled quietly at the sinister mail follies in their diabolical plan that was coming together beautifully.

According to school files, they had a signed certified letter  that I received notice from the school notifying me of the deadline to act in compliance or else.  It appeared that I ignored the notice after receiving it and signing for it, and thus, did not care about my child’s education.  Perfect for CPS to grab hold and run.

Prior to being adjudicated in court on the charges CPS used the fact that I had been CHARGED with truancy related accusations (not convicted when they did this, mind you…)  in order to justify removing my child from my home.

I wrote many letters to the school during this entire process.  Although my charges were ultimately dropped, the fact remained my son was taken away from me and the mere allegations allowed them one of several doors to walk through when coming up with ways to justify the removal of my son.

Remember – neglectful supervision is very elastic of a term, and almost anything can fit it.  If CPS wants a child, they can use neglectful supervision to take that child, then, if the facts don’t match the theory, change the fact.

Several years later, looking at the records online, I found the name of the charges they filed against me actually are listed as something else – Parent Contributing to Nonattendance.  Sounds a little more derogatory in my opinion.  How they can just change what the person is charged with years later on record is beyond my comprehension, but disposition states Dismissed due to bad identification.  Anyone know what that means? Email me and let me know.

So I hope this serves to at least warn you to be careful with your decision to home school and make sure you document all contact and dealings, follow the law and all procedures, and document it all.  That was if you do find yourself in a nightmare situation, you may be able to overturn it, or hopefully avoid it all together.

Good luck!

child death, child welfare reform, foster care abuse, cps, education, false allegations, government, healing, missing child, system failure
High court ruling is victory for victims of child abuse in Hawaii

The state Supreme Court has upheld an award to be paid by the state to a Maui girl whose previous injury was under investigation by Child Protective Services.

Child Protective Services has been told by the state Supreme Court that it is responsible for the welfare of children subject to abuse. A $1.1 million judgment was upheld last month by the high court and will hold the agency accountable for future negligence.

The state should increase expenditures for the agency rather than be forced to pay court awards.

The case arose from “very critical” injuries, including broken bones, a torn intestine, severe bruises and bleeding inside the skull, suffered by a 21/2-year-old Maui girl seven years ago, two months after being brought to Maui Memorial Medical Center with a broken leg. Dasia Morales-Kahoohanohano was under the care of her mother, Denise Morales, when the injuries occurred.

A pediatrician at the hospital had told CPS social worker Ellen Brewerton after the first injury that he did not believe her mother harmed the girl and that “the only logical explanation was Denise’s boyfriend (did).” Morales was arrested but neither she nor her then-boyfriend, Darryl Ramos, was prosecuted.

The social worker allowed the weekly exchange in custody between Morales and Dasia’s father, Jarrett Kahoohanohano, to resume on the condition that Dasia not be brought to Ramos’ house. Maui police had informed CPS that Ramos had been convicted of crimes seven times, including household abuse for punching a former girlfriend and biting her nose.

Brewerton went on a two-week vacation five weeks after the broken-leg incident and three days after Ramos and a friend were arrested following a shooting on the Ramos property, but the case was not assigned to another social worker during that fortnight. Dasia’s severe injuries occurred at the Ramos house a week after Brewerton returned to work.

Lillian Koller, director of the Human Services Department, called the Supreme Court’s decision “unfair to Hawaii taxpayers” and “exasperating for our social workers, whose conduct may be condemned no matter what they do.” Vlad Devens, attorney for Dasia, her father and paternal grandfather, suggested the injuries could have been prevented if the CPS had adhered to its own policies.

The court’s unanimous landmark decision does not mean that any injury to a child under CPS’s oversight will end up in court. It does mean that any departure from policy leading to injury can be grounds for a lawsuit.

As Circuit Judge Joel E. August ruled in the case, and the Supreme Court agreed, “DHS’s duty to protect children exists once they are on notice that a significant and unjustifiable or unexplained injury has occurred to a child that is brought to their attention, and there is a reasonable opportunity to verify the injury or the potential risk of future harm.”

child death, child welfare reform, foster care abuse, cps, education, false allegations, government, healing, missing child, system failure
High court ruling is victory for victims of child abuse in Hawaii

The state Supreme Court has upheld an award to be paid by the state to a Maui girl whose previous injury was under investigation by Child Protective Services.

Child Protective Services has been told by the state Supreme Court that it is responsible for the welfare of children subject to abuse. A $1.1 million judgment was upheld last month by the high court and will hold the agency accountable for future negligence.

The state should increase expenditures for the agency rather than be forced to pay court awards.

The case arose from “very critical” injuries, including broken bones, a torn intestine, severe bruises and bleeding inside the skull, suffered by a 21/2-year-old Maui girl seven years ago, two months after being brought to Maui Memorial Medical Center with a broken leg. Dasia Morales-Kahoohanohano was under the care of her mother, Denise Morales, when the injuries occurred.

A pediatrician at the hospital had told CPS social worker Ellen Brewerton after the first injury that he did not believe her mother harmed the girl and that “the only logical explanation was Denise’s boyfriend (did).” Morales was arrested but neither she nor her then-boyfriend, Darryl Ramos, was prosecuted.

The social worker allowed the weekly exchange in custody between Morales and Dasia’s father, Jarrett Kahoohanohano, to resume on the condition that Dasia not be brought to Ramos’ house. Maui police had informed CPS that Ramos had been convicted of crimes seven times, including household abuse for punching a former girlfriend and biting her nose.

Brewerton went on a two-week vacation five weeks after the broken-leg incident and three days after Ramos and a friend were arrested following a shooting on the Ramos property, but the case was not assigned to another social worker during that fortnight. Dasia’s severe injuries occurred at the Ramos house a week after Brewerton returned to work.

Lillian Koller, director of the Human Services Department, called the Supreme Court’s decision “unfair to Hawaii taxpayers” and “exasperating for our social workers, whose conduct may be condemned no matter what they do.” Vlad Devens, attorney for Dasia, her father and paternal grandfather, suggested the injuries could have been prevented if the CPS had adhered to its own policies.

The court’s unanimous landmark decision does not mean that any injury to a child under CPS’s oversight will end up in court. It does mean that any departure from policy leading to injury can be grounds for a lawsuit.

As Circuit Judge Joel E. August ruled in the case, and the Supreme Court agreed, “DHS’s duty to protect children exists once they are on notice that a significant and unjustifiable or unexplained injury has occurred to a child that is brought to their attention, and there is a reasonable opportunity to verify the injury or the potential risk of future harm.”

Add new tag, cps, domestic violence, false allegations, government, missing child, system failure
Before he was caught for child rape….


Who was he, before he was a convicted pedophile? He was the reason a child’s life was destroyed.

After PLEADING GUILTY to several counts of aggravated SEXUAL ASSAULT ON A MINOR, COMPELLING PROSTITUTION, and SEXUAL PERFORMANCE BY A CHILD, Ronnie Cummings was the instigator & co-conspirator in a plot to separate another little boy and his mother. Why would he do such a thing? Out of malice & out of spite following a divorce that left him holding a permanent protective order and a $50,000.00 past due child support bill.

The end result was a little boy, who. at 8 years old, was very aware of the situations around him. He was very bonded to his mother, and was ripped from his home, put into a foster home (where his fear of being kidnapped began); and ultimately, he was abused in foster care, overmedicated by the government to the point of seizures and medical side effects, and he lost his mother & stepfather who raised him, his dog, his friends, home, and life.

During the entire time he ruined that little boys life, he was molesting other children. Ronnie Cummings is a danger to children, and should he be returned to society, would, undoubtedly, re-offend.

The little boy’s mother has not seen him in 3 years. She does not even have a recent picture. The child is out there somewhere but the mother is restrained from coming close to him, even if she did find him, because of the false allegations made by this PEDOPHILE and the coverup the State of Texas scrambled to create to erase their mistakes when they GRANTED VISITATION TO A CHILD MOLESTER after they IGNORE WARNINGS BY THE MOTHER.

So the mother is put to rest when they change the child’s name, put her under a gag order, and threaten jail time if she doesn’t leave it alone.

Thanks Patrick Wilson – Your signing of a reduction in charges FOR A CHILD MOLESTER just took the ONLY peace, serenity, and dreamless sleep that mother had, knowing that monster who didn’t just molest a child he was convicted for.

Ronnie Cummings also terrorized another family, ripped apart a little boy’s life, and it happened because of people like you … people who let Ronnie Cummings get away with his actions. It is in this allowance that Ronnie Cummings (and other abusers) grow bolder and bolder. What next?

Patrick Wilson – you are just like the rest of the pedophiles you support in Ellis County, Texas, sickening.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN to a recording of a visit that reveals what really happens in the Texas Foster Care System.

He came to the visit bruised and bloody on December 22nd, just before Christmas.

He had been “stoned” with rocks by 3 foster brothers while the foster parent watched but did not stop the incident from happening.

The child went unconscious.

The foster parents did not get the child medical attention.

When asked about the incident, the CPS worker said “I have no idea, I just transport the children…”

This was to make-up a visit canceled the day before in an attempt by Collin County Childrens’ Advocacy Center, to hide the child’s injuries.

On the prior day, the foster parents had falsely told the child that his mother did not show up for the visit. Meanwhile, the CPS worker falsely told the mother the foster parents ‘forgot’ to bring him.

Only after throwing a fit did they allow this make-up visit, which gave the mother an opportunity to find out the truth.

The child and his mother were only allowed to see each other

only one more time after the mother recorded the child’s injuries.

The child arrived overdosed on improper medications they “forgot” the child was not supposed to take, according to what the child told his mother. His hands were frozen in a seizure like position, and his body shook uncontrollably.

He arrived at the visit carrying a realistic gun in his pocket, a toy the foster children were given and taught how to shoot guns in target practice (while taking these improper medications). At the time this child was only 8 years old.

The following visit took place December 2004 at a Texas CPS Children’s Advocacy Center between an 8 year old child and his mother.

This child’s case was ruled out for physical abuse at his natural home, but the same cannot be said for his foster home.

He had been removed and placed in foster care where he was…actually… abused…

Upon questioning throughout this visit, the mother learns that the child had been told by the foster family that he didn’t go to the visit the day before because the mother did not show up. That simply was not true. The foster family “forgetting to bring him” wasn’t true either.

Were they trying to cover up his injuries…..?

The child was, after this visit, removed from that home, and placed in kinship care, however, the mother only saw her child one more time after this visit….

Ruled out for physical abuse at home, taken and placed in state’s care to be abused… and then his injuries attempted to be covered up…

child protective services …? protecting who?

Its been nearly 3 years since this incident occured. Case has been closed for some time now, but nobody was ever held accountable for the abuse against this child, nor to the family for the suffering it caused. The mother has not seen the child in over 2 years, and remember – no abuse had occurred – ruled out – the CPS administrative review sustained a finding that the mother had a history of a drug use and was uncooperative with a non-conforming attitude towards the system; but no injuries to the child.

In fact, the caseworker herself states that the mother interacts appropriately with the child, that the case is not so much a case of child abuse, but rather an ongoing custody battle.

In the child’s interview with the social worker the child specifically states that he is not abused, unhappy, harmed, afraid, or otherwise feels in danger with his mom.

2 years since she’s seen him.

Now its time for the truth.


Click here to listen to the audio recording as you read the transcripts below.

(more…)

child welfare reform, foster care abuse, cps, divorce, domestic violence, education, false allegations, family, foster care, government, healing, system failure
How many more in Collin County Texas? Let us know…

I would like to comment on the article I posted Disgusted with the system: cbs11tv.com – North Texas Man Fighting For Custody Of His Kids

and thank the blogger who originally posted it, Louise, whose blog Disgusted With The System, is one of my favorites.

Collin County, Texas seems to have a trend in their cases with CPS and the social services system. I have on my site, alone, 3 cases from Collin County, and I know there are more.

I’d love to hear from you if you have a case you’d like published on my blog or if you have any questions or comments.

If you want to privately send me email you can do so at itsalmosttuesday@gmail.com

Thank you to everyone who supports our children and families, preserving the parents right to be a parent.

child welfare reform, foster care abuse, collin county, cps, custody, divorce, false allegations, family, foster care, government, home, judicial system, kidnapping, law, missing child, sexual offenders, system failure, texas
Collin County Texas – Still taking kids from the innocent..

North Texas Man Fighting For Custody Of His Kids

DALLAS (CBS 11 News) ― A North Texas man has been found not guilty of the aggravated sexual assault of a child. Now, he and his wife are fighting to get their children back.

Douglas Buchar was a successful custom homebuilder when he received a phone call two years ago, almost to the day. Child Protective Services called to inform him that they had taken away his kids. “My secretary got a phone call at the office and said, ‘You need to take this, it’s CPS,'” Buchar recalled. “And I got on the phone and it was just like, what? And they said they took all our kids.”

The children, 4-year-old Megan and 11-year-old Justin, were picked up at school and placed in foster care on January 20, 2006. This all came after the couple’s 12-year-old adopted child accused Buchar of sexual assault.

“I couldn’t,” Buchar started, “the whole thing didn’t make no sense. It wasn’t logical, the charges they had. It just couldn’t have happened.”

Over the next two years, the couple lost their business, their house and their children.

Buchar’s wife, Joy, was arrested as well, but the charges were later dropped. “It’s like someone just took all my guts out,” she said.

The kids lived in foster care for a year and a half. Six months ago, they were given permission to live with Buchar’s sister in New York.

Earlier this week, Buchar faced his accuser during the criminal trial. “Looking at her in court and what not, it was just, she had no clue of the repercussions she has done,” he said. “She doesn’t realize what she has caused, nor do I think she really cares what she has caused. Yes, we do feel sorry for her.”

But most of all, the Buchars said that they miss their biological children.

On Wednesday, a Collin County jury found Buchar not guilty of the crime.

“One thing I learned from all this,” Buchar said, “I was a workaholic and I was working six, seven days a week, 12, 13, 14 hours a day, and I learned now. I promised Justin I’d go fishing with him so many times before. Everytime, it would be like, oh, something’s come up. I got to go. That’s all changed now. I’m going to definitely have weekends off, and definitely spend time with him.”

The Buchars have terminated their parental rights to the adopted girl.

Kelly Davis is Buchar’s lawyer who is trying to get the couple’s biological children back home. She said that she never doubted their innocence. “I think that Doug was able to prove to everybody else that he was innocent by performing all the different types of polygraph and tests that they required, and performing in order to prove his innocence.”

Although Buchar was found not guilty, the nightmare continues. The couple said that they will not stop until they can bring Justin and Megan back home.

(© MMVIII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

child support, child welfare reform, foster care abuse, cps, domestic violence, false allegations, foster home, government, law, legal, system failure, system failures
Check out LawyersandSettlements.com – Article written about my story!

Abusive Ex-husband Makes Sure Woman Loses Son News

Its Almost Tuesday – Read Our Story on http://www.lawyersandsettlements.com

January 8, 2008. By Julia Browne RSS FeedRSS Del.icio.usDel.icio.us NewsvineSeed Newsvine FacebookFacebook

Dallas, TX: Mary’s abusive husband, Robbie, vowed to make her pay if she left him. She dared escape domestic violence, but due to additional victimization by Child Protection Services (CPS), the police, and her own mother, she lost her 8 year old son.

“After my divorce I moved with my son to a ‘safe state’, Florida. Robbie followed me there so I had to get a domestic violence protective order and he wasn’t allowed within 5 miles of us. He did try to contact me by email and phone on holidays, which I logged and reported to the local police but it wasn’t considered severe enough for an investigation.”

“For six years in Florida I was happy. I’d gotten married and was living the typical life of barbecues on Sunday and PTA. But stress from the aftermath of that previous abusive marriage and living in constant fear made things difficult and my new husband and I separated. In October 2003, with my family in Texas I figured we’d be all right there for a couple months but that was a fatal mistake.”

Abused WomanIt didn’t take long for Mary’s ex-husband to catch up with his prey.

“Just after the holiday season I reported his stalking behavior and calls to the police department of a suburb of Dallas/Fort Worth. On at least eight occasions they said, ‘oh that’s a Florida order, we’re not going to uphold that in Texas’.”

“Getting away with minor violations made Robbie bolder. He conspired with my mother to take my son away from me, even though he wasn’t his biological father. Together they made allegations against me of mental and emotional abuse, of drug use, and they even claimed I was in a baby-killing cult. When my son was born I cleaned up my life and stopped any drug use. CPS did four different tests and found nothing at all so in mid 2004 I was cleared of all charges of neglect and abuse.”

Mary and her son prepared to move back to the safety of Florida. Their nightmare was over… or so they thought.

“In May 2004 my son went to church and never came home. He was abducted. When I reported it the police, they and a CPS agent showed up at my door, not to give me news, but to get me to sign another accusation of abuse from my ex-husband and my mother. I refused. My attorney tabled a motion to have my son immediately released to me but on day the court order was signed, the police came and took me to a mental hospital for ‘observation’ based on a false affidavit.”

“The doctor couldn’t find any reason to detain me but during that 24 hours I was in that hospital Robbie, GrandMommy, the police officer and a CPS worker broke into my apartment and stole over $10,000 worth of property including all my home videos and photos of me and my kids, all my legal files and evidence, electronics, medication and even my wedding ring. Even our dog was gone.”

Mary’s son was placed in a foster home.

“Parents have to do something like take parenting classes, go to rehab or counseling to have a chance at getting their kid back. I did but they said I didn’t complete their services just because I chose to get my own counselor, not the one of their choice. They called me uncooperative if I did anything that was against my civil rights but even though one of the case workers wrote that my case wasn’t of abuse but of child custody they do retaliate, I hate to say. They ruled against me because I challenged when I knew things weren’t being looked into, like my accusation of Robbie molesting children.”

“The last time I saw my son was just before Christmas 2004. The case worker arrived without him and said, ‘we forgot to bring him’. But that wasn’t possible. He’s nine years old and he knows when it’s Tuesday. The next day, December 22nd, they brought him. He had a black eye, blood on his shirt; he’d been beaten. I never saw him again.

That’s when I started my blog almosttuesdays.com which came out of a poem I was commissioned to write for Child Abuse Awareness month. It was all the things my son had said to me during out visits that we shared that no one else knows about.”

“When I realized he wasn’t coming home I fell apart. I was in such shock. I didn’t have an attorney so I represented myself. Fortunately I’m a paralegal so I could write my own pleadings but they were just ignored. My son’s name was changed, he lives with GrandMommy and I’m not allowed to talk to him. Then Robbie was jailed in 2006 for child abuse. I’m too tired to fight. How do you find an attorney when those hired by the state to work on behalf of the kids say it’s too hard to go up against the system?”