Tag: divorce

cps, news
Appellate record shows Dallas County family law judge has long history of reversals

Thank you David Yates for this piece, click here to view original article.

DALLAS – For nearly a decade, Judge Andrea Plumlee has presided over the 330th Judicial District Court in Dallas County. And in that time, the family court judge has racked up quite a few reversals at the appellate level, with justices frequently finding that she has abused her discretion.

One of Judge Plumlee’s earlier corrections came in 2013 in the matter of the marriage of Jesus and Maria Villa.

Judge Plumlee entered a default judgment against Jesus Villa, even though the court record shows the trial court did not notify him of the default judgment hearing.

The Fifth Court of Appeals found that Judge Plumlee entered the default divorce decree in violation of Jesus Villa’s due process rights.

In the case of In re Young, the Fifth Court found Judge Plumlee abused her discretion by ordering genetic testing, even though the statute of limitations for such testing had expired.

When pieced together, Judge Plumlee’s appellate history shows a pattern of her exceeding her authority, according to an opinion issued by the Fifth Court on March 11, 2019.

The case was titled In the interest of D.T., a child, where Judge Plumlee ordered the father to pay $1,450 in child support. The Fifth Court reversed because the amount did not appear to be based on either the evidence or on the mother’s request.

Some of Judge Plumlee’s rulings seem to be shaped outside the guidelines of the Texas Family Code.

For example, in the case of In re Foreman, the Fifth Court found Judge Plumlee was required to transfer the case out of her court pursuant to the Texas Family Code.

“The undisputed evidence showed that the children’s principal residence on the date the petition was filed and during the six month period preceding the commencement of the suit was Collin County,” states the Fifth Court’s Jan. 9, 2014 opinion. “Under those circumstances, transfer is mandatory…”

Several other instances of Judge Plumlee being reversed on appeal remain on file.

And while the judge has declined to return a request for comment on her past rulings, at least one man had something to say on social media.

On June 22, 2018, Luke Spencer made a Facebook post to the State Bar of Texas page, stating that Judge Plumlee put his wife in jail for protecting her kids.

“Judge Plumlee has made it clear that she is not interested in anything my Wife has to say, and claims that she is a liar as well as the children,” wrote Spencer.

“The judge will not allow the children to speak on their own behalf, and has belittled them. I wanted this information to be known by the State Bar of Texas due to the demonstration of the lack of being fair and impartial…”

Life isn’t always fair, every five year old knows that, but fairness and impartiality is something one should expect from any judge, says Langston Adams, a Texas attorney who practices family, criminal and civil law.

“When I go before a family court judge, I expect what I expect from any judge – for them to be fair and follow the law,” Adams said.

Adams says that in his experience he’s found most family court judges to be fair, despite not every case ending in a win.

“You’re not always going to get the result the client wants … but it’s rare when I see a family law case go up on appeal.

Adams, who has been practicing law since 2002, says he’s only had one appeal in a family law case.

“Most of my appeals have stemmed from criminal cases,” he added.

Since 2011, the year Judge Plumlee first started presiding over the 330th, approximately 108 cases out of her court have been appealed.

cps, parental alienation syndrome
Obsessed Alienation – Severe Parental Alienation in Custody Cases

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“I love my children. If the court can’t protect them from their abusive father, I will. Even though he’s never abused the children, I know it’s a matter of time. The children are frightened of their father. If they don’t want to see him, I’m not going to force them. They are old enough to make up their own minds.”

The obsessed alienator is a parent, or sometimes a grandparent, with a cause:

to align the children to his or her side and together, with the children, and a campaign to destroy their relationship with the targeted parent.

For the campaign to work, the obsessed alienator enmeshes the children’s personalities and beliefs into their own. This is a process that takes time but one that the children, especially the young, are completely helpless to see and combat. It usually begins well before the divorce is final.

The obsessed parent is angry, bitter or feels betrayed by the other parent. The initial reasons for the bitterness may actually be justified. They could have been verbally and physical abused, raped, betrayed by an affair, or financially cheated.

The problem occurs when the feelings won’t heal but instead become more intense because of being forced to continue the relationship with a person they despise because of their common parenthood. Just having to see or talk to the other parent is a reminder of the past and triggers the hate. They are trapped with nowhere to go and heal.

The characteristics of obsessed alienation are as follows

  • They are obsessed with destroying the children’s relationship with the targeted parent
  • They having succeeded in enmeshing the childrens’ personalities and beliefs about the other parent with their own.
  • The children will parrot the obsessed alienator rather than express their own feelings from personal experience with the other parent.

  • The targeted parent and often the children cannot tell you the reasons for their feelings.

  • Their beliefs sometimes becoming delusional and irrational. No one, especially the court, can convince obsessed alienators that they are wrong. Anyone who tries is the enemy.

  • They will often seek support from family members, quasi-political groups or friends that will share in their beliefs that they are victimized by the other parent and the system.
  • The battle becomes “us against them.” The obsessed alienator’s supporters are often seen at the court hearings even though they haven’t been subpoenaed.

  • They have an unquenchable anger because they believe that the targeted parent has victimized them and whatever they do to protect the children is justified.

  • They have a desire for the court to punish the other parent with court orders that would interfere or block the targeted parent from seeing the children. This confirms in the obsessed alienator’s mind that he or she was right all the time.

  • The court’s authority does not intimidate them.

  • The obsessed alienator believes in a higher cause, protecting the children at all cost.

  • The obsessed alienator will probably not want to read what is on these pages because the content just makes them angrier.

There are no effective treatments for either the obsessed alienator or the children.

The courts and mental health professionals are helpless.

The only hope for these children is early identification of the symptoms and prevention. After the alienation is entrenched and the children become “true believers” in the parent’s cause, the children are lost to the other parent for years to come.

We realize this is a sad statement, but we have yet to find an effective intervention, by anyone, including the courts that can rehabilitate the alienating parent and child.

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More on Parental Alienation

Divorce is one of life’s most painful passages. It is painful for the spouse who wants it, painful for the spouse who feels rejected, and painful for the children.

We can understand and empathize with the spouse who feels wronged and wants revenge, or the spouse who is overwhelmed with anxiety at the thought of losing the children, or the spouse who prefers to forget that the marriage ever was.

But using the children to get revenge, to cope with anxiety, to erase the past, is unacceptable.

Parents must hold themselves to a higher standard.

Parent/child relationships are particularly vulnerable when children are first informed of the impending separation, or when one parent actually leaves the home.

If your spouse manipulates the children to blame you for the divorce, or to believe you have abandoned them, affection can dissolve overnight as their distress and hurt feelings are channeled into hatred.

The risk becomes multiplied if, for any reason, you have no communication or contact with the children after you leave the home. This keeps you from reassuring the children of your love and helping them understand that they do not have to choose between their parents.

A child who feels caught between two homes may feel that the solution to the conflict is to declare a clear allegiance to one household. This motive can result in alienation from either parent.

A child who is anxious or angry about the remarriage may channel these feelings into unwarranted hatred of the remarried parent and stepparent. Or the child’s alienation may express the disappointment of reconciliation wishes that have been dashed by the remarriage.

Regardless of the child’s underlying motivation, if the favored parent welcomes the child’s allegiance and fails to actively promote the child’s affection for the other parent, the child may cling to a maladaptive solution.

The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent.

enablers

PAS is more than brainwashing or programming, because the child has to actually participate in the denigrating of the alienated parent. This is done in primarily the following eight ways:

1. The child denigrates the alienated parent with foul language and severe oppositional behavior.

2. The child offers weak, absurd, or frivolous reasons for his or her anger.

3. The child is sure of him or herself and doesn’tdemonstrate ambivalence, i.e. love and hate for thealienated parent, only hate.

4. The child exhorts that he or she alone came up with ideas of denigration. The “independent-thinker”phenomenon is where the child asserts that no one told him to do this.

5. The child supports and feels a need to protect the alienating parent.

6. The child does not demonstrate guilt over cruelty towards the alienated parent.

7. The child uses borrowed scenarios, or vividlydescribes situations that he or she could not haveexperienced.

8. Animosity is spread to also include the friends and/or extended family of the alienated parent.

In severe cases of parent alienation, the child is utterly brainwashed against the alienated parent.

The alienator can truthfully say that the child doesn’t want to spend any time with the other parent, even though he or she has told the child that he has to, it is a court order, etc.

The alienator typically responds, “There isn’t anything that I can do about it. I’m not telling the child that he can’t.

Alienation advances when the alienating parent urdses the child as a personal therapist. The child is told about every miserable experience and negative feeling about the alienated parent with great specificity.

The child, who is already enmeshed with the parent because his or her identity is still undefined, easily absorbs the parent’s negativity. They become aligned with this parent and feel that they need to be the protector of the alienating parent.

Parental alienation can be mild and temporary or extreme and ongoing. Most researchers believe that any alienation of a child against (the child’s) other parent is harmful to the child and to the target parent.

Extreme, obsessive, and ongoing parental alienation can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood.

Parental Alienation focuses on the alienating parents behavior as opposed to the alienated parent’s and alienated childrens’ conditions. This definition is different from Parental Alienation Syndrome as originally coined by Dr. Richard Gardner in 1987:

“a disturbance in which children are preoccupied with deprecation and criticism of a parent-denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated.”

Parental Alienation Syndrome symptoms describe the child’s behaviours and attitude towards the targeted parent after the child has been effectively programmed and severely alienated from the targeted parent.

Parental alienation, on the other hand, describes the alienating parent’s or parents’ conduct which induces parental alienation syndrome in children. Parental alienation is a form of relational aggression by one parent against the other parent using their common children.

The process can become cyclic with each parent attempting to alienate the children from the other. There is potential for a negative feedback loop and escalation.

At other times an affected parent may withdraw leaving the children to the alienating parent. Children so alienated often suffer effects similar to those studied in the psychology of torture.

Alienating parents often use grandparents, aunts/uncles, and other elders to alienate their children against the target parent.

In some cases, mental health professionals become unwitting allies in these alienation attempts by backing unfounded allegations of neglect, abuse or mental disease. Courts also often side with the alienating parent against the target parent in legal judgements because parental alienation is so difficult to detect.

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Extreme forms of parental alienation include obsessive brainwashing, character assassination, and the false inducement of fear, shame, and rage in children against the target parent. Moderate forms of parental alienation include loss of self control, flare ups of anger, and nconscious alliances with the children against the target parent. In it’s mildest forms, parental alienation includes occasional mild denigration alternating with a focus on encouraging the children’s relationship with the other parent.

Parental alienation often forces children to choose sides and become allies against the other parent. Children caught in the middle of such conflicts suffer severe losses of love, respect and peace during their formative years.

They also often lose their alienated parent forever.

These consequences and a host of others cause terrible traumas to children as studied in Parental Alienation Syndrome.

Parents so alienated often suffer heartbreaking loss of their children through no fault of their own. In addition, they often face false accusations from their alienated children that they cannot counter with the facts.

Finally, they often find themselves powerless to show that this little-known form of cruel, covert, and cunning aggression is occurring or has occurred.

Often the problem can be cured only by realizing the underlying causes. The reasons are very numerous and varied. These are examples:

  • Money. The custodial parent may wish to have more than the non-custodial parent is willing or able to provide and the children are leverage pawns.
  • Retaliation. ‘You wanted a life without us. Now you have it.’
  • New family member.The mother forms a new romantic relationship and wants her new man to be the father. The non-custodial parent is a hindrance to that new relationship, an unwanted reminder.
  • New partner’s interference. Mother’s boy-friend or new husband wants to be the man in the child’s life and works to exclude the father.
  • Jealousy Mother’s empty life is in stark contrast to Father’s recovering one. Mother may not wish the father’s new partner to have the role of ‘rival mother’ – particularly if she is insecure about her own abilities.
  • Property rights. Mother regards child as her property and is unwilling to share
  • Social appearance.Mother could never admit that she is not the sole focus of her child’s life.
  • Depression, Poor health.General negative view on life interpreted by her as being a result of the marital breakup and therefore his fault.
  • Simple hatred by the mother of the father.
  • Hostility from the father toward the mother is viewed by her as a risk to the children as well, so she feels that she must ‘protect’ the child by preventing the father from visiting. Mother may have no basis whatsoever for feeling that the father will be hostile to the child.
  • Possessiveness of the child’s attention and affection. The Mother may have no other close family and be envious of the father’s friends and relatives.

  • Mother convinces herself that the father is a dangerous human with extreme character flaws to which the child should not be exposed. Mother assumes that activities enjoyed by the father are risky to the child, even though other children may engage in those same activities.
  • Mother has taken a gender approach and is hostile to all men. This can be particularly true if the mother has limited her own contacts to other single mothers. She may be unable to sustain a wholesome relationship with a man.
  • Punishment. Mother eliminates visits or shortens contact with the father if the children do not behave. “You have not finished your homework. You cannot go to dinner with your father.” or “You did not obey me about your bedtime. You are grounded here and while you are with your father this weekend.”
  • Perceived competition with the former spouse. This is particularly true when the non-custodial father spends more on the children than the mother is able to do. Also called “Disneyland Dads”, the father uses his time in high dollar activities while the mother has to make do on free and low cost amusements for them. This also works in reverse with the “competitive” mom – where the non-custodial parent plans an activity, such as a driving vacation and then the custodial mom has to ‘trump’ it by flying the children out of the country on vacation. Neither parent seems to notice that the TWO vacations are far more than the child would have received if in a pre-divorce home and that the child’s values are being distorted on a very subconscious, but permanent level.
  • Self-esteem. The mother’s interests and activities may be so focused on the children that she has no life if they are not around. She does not wish to, or cannot admit, that they have fun if she is not part.
  • Fear of abandonment.Mother worries that children may choose the father over her if given the opportunity.
  • Control. The children may be the only means the parent has of directing the life and emotions of the former spouse.
  • Reverse control. The mother may have never wanted a man except to sire the child and, once that role is complete, the mother wants him well away from her child. Watch for parents who say ‘MY child’ when talking to the other parent.
  • Punishment to the Father for forming a new marriage. ‘You were supposed to stay single and grieve for me forever.’
  • Mistaken belief that the father was actually not interested in the child.Many men are not granted much of a role in baby care, so as the child grows older and the father is ‘learning how to parent’ he may not spend as much time with the child –which may be viewed in retrospect as disinterest. Parenting does not come naturally to everyone and non-custodial parents have less of a chance to practice, with their mistakes being more visible.
  • Lifestyle conflicts.Mother and father have different choices in cultures, religions, and values and she wants to isolate the children into hers.
  • Emotional dependence.The mother may feel that the child has only so much capability for affection and wants it all for herself.
  • Resentment of reminders of failure.The mother may view the dissolved marriage as a failure and wish to avoid all memory of it.
  • Concealment. The mother may be having difficulties and does not want the children to provide information about her situation to the father.

Theses cases involving Parental Alienating are very frustrating to the targeted parent. Many times the offending parent feels totally justified in their actions. They cannot see the damage they are causing their children.

How can targeted parents in these situations be helped?

Encourage them to keep their heads up, maintain perspective, and contact the right professionals. Open up the line of communication with their children, recognize early warning signs of trouble, and respond appropriately to rude and hateful behavior.

Avoid common errors made by rejected parents through recognition of the problem and quickly obtaining the proper experts, which is crucial in developing a strategy inn a custody case involving Parental Alienation.

If necessary, ask the courts to order an evaluation and most of all to order treatment to reverse the damages caused by such conduct.

Sources:

Parental Alienation Syndrome by Lynn M.Swank,

Dr. Richard A. Warshak. Divorce Poison, Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Regan Books, New York,

Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.

Three Types of Parental Alienation Copyright 1997 by Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.)

Forensic Family Services, Inc.

awareness, child abuser, cps, custody, false allegations, family, home, love, parental alienation syndrome
Backlash Against Parental Alienation: Denial and Skepticism About Psychological Abuse

By Richard A Warshack, Psychologist and expert on P.A.S. @richardwarshack

This post is in honor of Parental Alienation Awareness Day—April 25.

A boy wrote a letter to his mother telling her that she belonged in a mental institution, that she was nothing to him, that she was nothing but a screw-up, that she was sick, selfish, that he wanted to have nothing to do with her or any of her relatives, and that he hoped she died a horrible, painful death. In other words, this boy disowned his mother with the most aggressive, vile, and hateful language.

The father’s attorney attempted to minimize the child’s alienation by claiming that the boy merely loved his dad a lot more than he loved his mom.

Attorneys spin the facts to zealously advocate for their clients’ positions. We expect it.

But what excuse do others have for denying the reality that a child can become irrationally alienated from a good and formerly loved parent? And for denying the reality that the child’s unjustified rejection of one parent can be traced to the other parent’s relentless manipulations to drive a wedge between child and parent?

How could anyone who works in the family law system deny the reality — affirmed nearly unanimously by legal and mental health professionals — that children can be influenced by one parent to turn against the other parent?

Encouraging a child to align with one parent against the other, and teaching a child to hate a parent for no good reason, is cruel. If a teacher did this to a student, bad-mouthed a child’s parents and systematically undermined the child’s love and respect for her parents, that teacher would be out of a job.

“Stealing the soul,” is how I described this process in DIVORCE POISON—enlisting children as agents in their own deprivation and violating children’s trust.

Leading authorities on divorce agree. Dr. Joan Kelly and Dr. Janet Johnston held no punches: “Whether such parents are aware of the negative impact on the child, these behaviors of the aligned parent (and his or her supporters) constitute emotional abuse of the child.”

Society has a checkered track record in recognizing and protecting children from abuse. Denial and minimization intermittently subdue awareness and acknowledgment. It has been this way with physical abuse, with sexual abuse, and with psychological abuse. So we should not be surprised that a subculture of parents and professionals denies that children can be manipulated to reject a parent for no good reason—or that they go so far as to claim that most children will turn against the parent who is abusing them in these ways.

How do deniers rationalize their apparent blindness?
Here are five strategies.

1. Deflect attention from the reality of divorce poison and its destructive impact with debates about whether parental alienation constitutes a bona fide syndrome. The claim is that because the official manual of psychiatric diagnoses (DSM-5) does not include the term “parental alienation,” the problem must be bogus. You also will not find “reckless driving syndrome” in the DSM-5. But you would be wise to avoid getting in a car with a driver who has this problem. Children need protection from reckless, toxic parenting, regardless of how we label the parent’s behavior. Moreover, the DSM-5 does refer to the concept of irrational parental alienation. The diagnostic manual mentions “unwarranted feelings of estrangement” as an example of the diagnosis: Parent–Child Relational Problem.

To the parent who loses her child, or the child who loses a parent, it matters little whether we label the loss a syndrome, a disorder, a condition, or a problem. What matters is whether a child is suffering and whether a parent’s behavior contributes to a child’s suffering.

2. Claim that it is only a speculation, hypothesis, or theory that children can become alienated from one parent when exposed to the other parent’s negative influence. As I explained in my article, “Bringing Sense to Parental Alienation,” there is nothing theoretical or speculative about the existence of irrationally alienated children. These children can be directly observed by anyone willing to look.

3. Attribute unsupportable, fake positions to parental alienation studies, and then refute the fake positions—a tactic known as “attacking a straw man.” For instance, a recently published study claimed that “the alienation hypothesis” (see denial strategy #2 above) maintains that parental denigration is only unilateral, not reciprocal, and that all children exposed to parental denigration become alienated from the target of denigration. When the study found that a group of volunteer college students reported that both parents denigrated each other, and the children did not reject either parent, the authors of the study concluded that “the alienation hypothesis” was not supported and that parental denigration does not cause children to reject the parent who is denigrated.

The problem with this line of reasoning is that no scholar has claimed that parental denigration necessarily leads to a child rejecting the denigrated parent. Of course many children whose parents badmouth each other maintain relationships with both parents. Rejecting a parent is an extreme consequence, not a common one. Furthermore, anyone who has worked with irrationally alienated children knows that these children are reluctant to admit that their favored parent maligned their other parent— in fact, these children are reluctant to admit anything negative about the parent whom they favor.

Researchers who genuinely want to learn about the forces that lead children to irrationally reject a parent will begin by studying alienated children. Studying children who are not alienated merely makes the obvious point that their parents occasionally bad-mouth each other without alienating the children from either parent. This is the sort of “scholarship” that gives social science a bad odor because the study advocates for and confirms a bias against the existence of parental alienation.

4. Ignore studies that fail to support one’s pet theories. For example, while promoting skepticism about the notion that children can be manipulated by a parent to hate the other parent, the authors of the study mentioned above failed to cite the largest study, published by the American Bar Association, that explicitly attributed children’s problems to being brainwashed by one parent against the other. They also failed to cite the volume of scientific evidence about various mechanisms by which children’s attitudes can be influenced and by which negative stereotypes about a parent can be promulgated.

Children’s feelings and behavior toward each parent are influenced by the way their parents treat each other. Does any reasonable person seriously believe otherwise—that children are immune from a parent’s influence? If so, tell that to all the child psychologists and authors who study and write about how to raise smarter, healthier, happier, and better behaved children.

Ironically, one of the authors of the straw-man study, in a previous article, railed against scholars who selectively cite research that confirms their biases, a tactic he called “cherry picking” or “stacking the deck.” Pot, meet kettle.

5. Promulgate, or accept without investigation or critical scrutiny, dramatic and exaggerated claims that the evaluator, therapist, child representative, and judge in a case mistook a child’s justified rejection of a parent for unjustified alienation, or that children removed from toxic alienating environments have been abused by the family court system. Such claims are repeated without considering all the evidence weighed by the court in reaching its decision.

We have a lot to learn about the roots of parental alienation and about why some children become ensnared in a campaign of hatred toward a parent while others resist. And why some children draw closer to the target of bad-mouthing and reject the parent who dispenses divorce poison, a phenomenon called “blowback” in the video, WELCOME BACK, PLUTO: UNDERSTANDING, PREVENTING, AND OVERCOMING PARENTAL ALIENATION.

But the existence of parents who effectively teach their children to hate the other parent, and of children who absorb this lesson, is beyond dispute.

Exactly two weeks before Parental Alienation Awareness Day in 2017, British High Court Justice Russell delivered her judgment in a Liverpool family court case. She wrote, “By manipulating her children, [the mother] has achieved what she has always wanted and stopped contact with their father. She has done so either because she cannot help herself or because she had quite deliberately set out to expunge their father from their lives. These children have suffered significant emotional harm as a result of their mother’s manipulative actions.”

Do the deniers and skeptics think Justice Russell was deluded?

As journalist Kathleen Parker observed, “Anybody old enough to drink coffee knows that embittered divorcees can and do manipulate their children. Not just women, but men, too.”

We may not want to face the fact that some parents prey on the children in their charge—physically, sexually, or emotionally. Often these parents carefully groom children to engage in harmful acts that victimize children. Whether children are victims of sexual abuse or psychological abuse, we must not turn a blind eye to them.

The fact that some children are able to resist does not obscure the reality that such abuse exists. Professionals who feed denial and skepticism play into the hands of those who want us to look away.

Because deniers and skeptics contribute to a backlash against protecting psychologically abused children from efforts to alienate them from a parent, 13 years after it was introduced we still need Parental Alienation Awareness Day to shine a light on the plight of children and parents caught in this maelstrom, and to remind us that much work remains to be done.

#PAADay #ParentalAlienation

child, children, cps, families, General, love
Taming the Mommy Tiger

This article from StepMom Magazine is too good to not re-post. In the arena of parental alienation, I have been doing my research into many areas, including blended families.

One of the most common issues I see presented is the battle between a stepparent and the natural parent.

This article has great insight, by Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. 

Taming the Mommy TigerOne of the most common questions I hear from women who marry or partner with men who have kids is,

What should they call me?”

While there’s no one right answer, I do concur with the overwhelming majority of experts and women in the trenches who know from first-hand experience that there is, in a broad sense, to which there are rare exceptions, a wrong one: Mom. Or mommy. Or mother. You get the idea.

I’m not big on oversimplified advice—there’s way too much of it out there for stepmothers in books, which tend to gloss over the point of view of the woman with stepchildren, as if she’s got no right to have one. That’s just wrong, and that’s why I wrote a book from a stepmother-centric perspective. But when it comes to this particular issue, unless the planets are aligned just so (and we’ll get to that, to the factors that might make it easy and OK for his kids to call you and think of you as mom), it is best for all parties if you acknowledge the specialness of your bond with his kids of any age by coming up with a word other than mom to define it.

“Hey!” you’re thinking, “That’s not fair! I’m just like a mom. I do lots of heavy lifting. I do X, Y and even Z for those kids!! And she’s (fill-in-the-blank with neglectful, or a terrible mother or unloving and selfish and disinterested in  her kids, or even an alcoholic/drug addict/liar).

So, why is she the only one to be called mom?

Does just giving birth to them make her the only mother?

Yep, it does.

Whether we like it or think it’s right or wrong, we will likely be able save ourselves a lot of grief and aggravation by acknowledging a simple truth. In our society, motherhood is romanticized and idealized, and mothers—no matter how bad—are put on a pedestal by the world in general and by their kids in particular.

Sometimes, you may have noticed, the more problems the mother has, the more fiercely protective of and attached and irrationally loyal to her the kids are. It can make your head spin, especially if you know you’re a better parent than she is. Whoa, there, Step-mom!

There’s a reason step-family experts—from the National Step-family Resource Center to the last book you picked up—are virtually unanimous in their advice,

“Don’t try to replace their mother, and don’t ask them to call you mom.”

While you’re at it, when they ask to call you mom, as flattering as it is, as much of a victory as it feels like, as much as you feel you earned it and deserve it, your life will probably be a whole lot easier in the long run if you point out,

“I love you very much, but let’s think of something else for you to call me, since you already have a mom.”

Again, there are exceptions, but they are few and far between.

Why are the experts and so many of the women who have been there such killjoys about the kids calling you mommy?

Because they know what they’re talking about. First, there’s the reality of the loyalty bind—a feeling that kids get, often because their moms
encourage it—that loving or even liking you is a betrayal of her. They
suspect that bonding with you will actually cause their bond with her to wither and die. What could be scarier for these kids than loving you and calling you mom, mommy or any variant of The Mother? Sometimes, kids feel and fear this even without their moms doing what too many moms do— badmouth you and your marriage.

If there’s anything that provokes a woman with stepchildren, it’s a mom who doesn’t want her kids to get too close to dad’s new wife—and tries to assure it won’t happen by telling lies or saying inappropriate and undermining things about their step-mom.

“If it weren’t for her, your dad and I would still be together,” such women might say to their kids. Or, “You don’t have to listen to her or be nice to her. She’s not in charge of you.”

If there is anything that provokes a mother, it’s the feeling that someone— someone married to her ex-husband in particular, whether she instigated the divorce or not—is competing with her for her child’s affection. “I love them like they’re my own,” you might say to her in a conversation, trying to set her at ease. But the words have the opposite effect, making mom feel encroached upon and threatened.

But why? As I researched my book, “Stepmonster,” I reviewed what sociologists and anthropologists had to say about stepmothering worldwide and about wife/ex-wife conflict across cultures. What quickly became clear was the following simple truth: In our society in particular, many women find the idea of sharing their children with another motherlike figure incredibly threatening to their core identity and their very sense of self. And when they have to do it, they lose it.

Many are the stories of crazy exes and vengeful biomoms (can we please just call them moms or mothers?) who undermine the stepmother/stepchild relationship as if their very lives depend upon it.

Why are these women so angry, so dead set on keeping their kids from bonding with stepmom? Sociologists Linda Nielsen of Wake Forest University, Stephanie Coontz of Evergreen University and the Council on Contemporary Families tell us that, unlike many Caribbean, Native American, and Pacific Island cultures—where children have a number of parent-like figures who care for them and may have several mother-like “aunties” who look after them in all senses, such as feeding, clothing and even disciplining them—middle and upper-middle class Caucasian American women are dramatically more likely to have been raised in a “one-mother only mentality.”

That means these women have been taught from an early age that mothering means one woman and one woman only doing the heavy lifting mostly, if not entirely, on her own. They are less likely, in a broad statistical sense, to have had fictive kin, aunties and even extended family involved in their upbringing. In their view, mothering comes from one person, and one person alone—period.

This exclusive, exclusionary view of mothering is deeply ingrained for many of us and results in a mindset that there can be only one mother. Further implied is that if one mother isn’t doing it all on her own, she’s a bad one. And being a bad mother, in our culture, makes you a bad woman and a bad person. There’s no separating those categories in our thinking.

Coontz, Nielsen and other sociologists point out that Caribbean, Pacific Island, Native American and African American children are more likely to have “allomaternal” and “allopaternal” figures in their lives—“aunties” and “uncles” who contribute to their well-being in numerous ways. They also tell us this is likely to be the case in immigrant and lower-income groups, where extended family living arrangements and a belief that “it takes a village” prevail. In contrast, for many of us in the U.S., it’s nuclear family bonds uber-alles.

Why do so many ex-wives go nuts when their exes remarry and their kids get a stepmother? In large part, it may be because they are programmed to do this.

Understanding this might help those of us with stepchildren understand how an otherwise sane-seeming, high-functioning woman is capable of demonizing us in irrational ways. It takes hard work and commitment to overcome this social programming, and our collective hats should be off to the mothers who manage it. As for those who don’t, we will do everyone a good turn, perhaps most especially ourselves and our step kids, if we use this knowledge to avoid provoking the mommy tiger by insisting on our “right” to be called mom and to share what she considers to be her exclusive mom privileges.

These often include parent-teacher conferences, doctor’s appointments and conversations with kids about topics like reproduction, sex and drugs. In all of these areas, ask yourself just how dreadful it really is to have to concede to her irrational-seeming wishes you just stay away or remain uninvolved.

As many therapists and stepfamily coaches ask their clients,

“Do you really want to go to every parent-teacher conference? If it provokes your husband’s ex so tremendously, might it be wise to sit back?”

Sadly,our well-intentioned impulses to be involved in his children’s lives might be read by mom, owing to her social programming, as territorial and aggressive.

Does that mean you have to skip the Winter Sing, the graduation or the gymnastics meet every time, be excluded and shut out? No way. But if there is a high conflict situation with a Mommy Tiger, it makes sense to ask yourself exactly which battles are worth having and when it might be more fun to skip the science fair and go out for a night with friends.

And then there are those rare exceptions. I know a few—and perhaps you do, too—women whose step kids call them mom and who have a highly involved, maternal relationship with the kids. Here’s the planetary alignment that might favor a kid calling you mom and thinking of you as one or another one, without blowback:

1. His or her mother is out of the picture. Not as in deceased. A child whose mother has passed away will likely need to preserve her memory and her name—mother—just for her, no matter how badly that child may want and need mothering from you. But out of touch and out of sight for almost all of the time might make it easier and less
fraught for you to take on a mom role and name. Remember, though, although she may be out of sight and out of touch, she may not be out of mind.

2. He or she is young enough and open enough to forming an attachment so the mommy thing will not inspire tremendous ambivalence or confusion.

3. His or her mother actually encourages a warm, closer relationship between you and her child—and means it.

One woman I interviewed—I’ll call her Sarah—was nine months pregnant when her husband, never reliable, left her. He came back when the baby was 3 months old and left again three months later.

Sarah knew her ex, given his yearslong pattern of abandoning her and others, would never be part of her child’s life. She also found out that
a court was very likely to support her barring contact should it come to that. So, when Sarah eventually decided to remarry, she and her partner thought long and hard about what her 2-year-old girl should call her stepfather. Given all of the factors, they settled on daddy.

However, they decided her new husband’s son Zach—whose mom was
sufficiently unreliable and irresponsible to have lost custody of him—had a mom, however imperfect. Having and being a mommy, Sarah and her husband knew, is uniquely fraught in our culture. And they suspected that letting Zach call Sarah mommy might cause problems—resentments, confusion or ambivalence—down the line. They were probably right.

And five years later, Zach and Sarah, whom he calls Sarry—a variation on mommy that is different enough from it to set everyone at ease—are doing just fine.

“In our society in particular, many women find the idea of sharing their children with  another  mother-like figure incredibly threatening to their core identity and their very sense of self. And when they have to do it, they lose it.”

© 2011 StepMom Magazine
Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., is a social researcher and the author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do (2009).
She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today
(http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster)
and blogs for the Huffington Post and on her own web site
(www.wednesdaymartin.com).
She has appeared as a stepparenting expert on NPR, the BBC Newshour, Fox News and NBC Weekend Today, and was a regular contributor to the New York Post’s parenting page.
Stepmonster was a finalist in the parenting category of the 2010 “Books for a Better Life” award.
A stepmother for a decade, Wednesday lives in New York City with her husband and two sons.
Her stepdaughters are young adults.
parental alienation syndrome
Poisoned Hearts – How Parental Alienation Hurts

I am going to focus my attention for a while on Parental Alienation Syndrome. I encourage comments and ideas from the readers.

Parental Alienation Syndrome Poster

(From Wikipedia):Parental alienation syndrome was a term coined by child psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner.  He defines Parental Alienation Syndrome as “a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against the parent, a campaign that has no justification. The disorder results from the combination of indoctrinations by the alienating parent and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the alienated parent.”(ref:Gardner, RA (2001). “Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS): Sixteen Years Later”Academy Forum 45 (1): 10–12. Retrieved 2009-03-31.)

Parental Alienation is child abuse and a hate crime of the worst kind – with the consequences primarily going to the child that the alienating parent is trying to estrange from the targeted parent.

I can tell you, as the ‘target parent’ – the pain is deep.  There is no words to describe it.  There is such extensive damage done, to both the child and parent, that to heal seems impossible.  Where do we start? How do we start to heal when the alienating parent (or grandparent in my case) still has control of the child, still alienates the child, and does not want anything to change? Now, my child isn’t even a child anymore – he is an adult. So he is no longer part of any custody agreements or court rulings. There is no custody modification possible. There is no reversal of court orders possible.

It is over.  Or is it?

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I waited ten years after I realized no matter what I did, how hard I fought, or what happened, I would not win custody of my son back. I had to give up eventually or it was going to kill me.  I eventually had to accept that it would be his adulthood that I would have to wait for. So I did just that – I waited.

I imagined for years how it would go – his 18th birthday. I imagined what it would be like to have his birthday party take place, with his custodial family present and I show up – to their dismay- and how my son would run to me, because he could.

I imagined how after that day we would be best friends. How he would call me for advice or to share good news with me. I imagined how he would come to stay with me, and we would talk all night about the good times, and cry together over the bad.

I imagined so many things we could do together. I never imagined there would be silence on his end. I never imagined I would call on his 18th birthday and he wouldn’t answer. I never imagined emails would go ignored, chats would not be initiated. I never imagined he was so alienated from me that even though he’s old enough now to decide for himself, she still controls him.

The International Handbook of Parental Alienation Syndrome by Gardner, Sauber, and Lorandos, has become the standard reference work for PAS. The International Handbook features clinical, legal, and research perspectives from 32 contributors from eight countries.

I never imagined that my son might hate me – or that I would wonder if he really does hate me. My gut tells me he doesn’t, but I have not heard from him, so maybe I am wrong.

I never imagined this pain might last forever.

What do I do now? How do I reach him? Do I wait for him? Do I find a seminar to attend? Do I drag my entire extended family to some weekend camp retreat where we make clay sculptures and have group sessions about our dysfunctional family and how its come so far between me and my son that he’s out of control. I cannot believe or understand how my brothers, my child’s uncles, have allowed this alienation to take place, and now that the deleterious effects are shining through they are ‘washing their hands of it’ – frustrated at the results of their inaction. WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?

 I have to fight the demon that tells me i want to  commit suicide when I think about the idea that my son may hate me for real and we may never heal. I have to fight the demon that gives me so much rage that I cannot take out against anyone but myself. I have to fight to forget everything I don’t want to remember, but then I am afraid to forget too much. I don’t know anymore, I just want to know my son again. I want him to be okay.

How do we fix the damage that’s been done?

I am going to include articles about PAS that I found from around the web here, and ask that anyone out there who has something to say, please do.  I need to know how to fix this. It hurts.

                                                                  

PAS RESOURCES AND LINKS

 (source: http://www.pasattorney.com/pas-resources-links.htm)
Parental Alienation Awareness Organization (PAAO)
PAAO is dedicated to educating the general public, schools, police, counselors, and religious leaders on the subjects of Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Parental Alienation Syndrome. To achieve its goal, PAAO uses not only seminars and conferences to disseminate information, but also actively collects information. The PAAO website is clean, well organized, and highly informative.
Breakthrough Parenting
Breakthrough Parenting is a California-based organization that offers both classes and counseling on child custody, co-parenting, parenting plans, and parental alienation. The Breakthrough Parenting website offers several interesting books for sale. The executive director of Breakthrough Parenting, Jayne Major, PhD, has also put up an informative article entitled “Parents who have Successfully Fought Parental Alienation” that can be downloaded for free in PDF format.
PsyCare
This no-frills but highly popular website describes itself this way: “PsyCare hopes to address issues that are not always popular or politically correct. Instead, we want to stimulate debate and research on important issues affecting today’s families[,] to learn from other’s experiences and try to influence social policies based on empirical research and objective findings.” Highly informative and contains links to many other high-quality PAS websites.
Parental Alienation Syndrome
Florida psychologist Dr. J. Michael Bone has put up a solid website that deals with both parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome. Dr. Boone has provided a number links to some highly informative sources.
Help Stop PAS
“Help Stop PAS is a non-profit organization dedicated to fostering healthy, rational, supportive and sustainable relationships between parents and their children during and after divorce. Our mission is to educate parents, extended family, law practitioners, clergy, medical and mental health professionals to recognize the signs and symptoms of parent alienation in order to intervene, in the appropriate discipline, and to reduce the occurrence of parent alienation. We also seek to obtain funding to promote and perform research projects aimed at providing new information about the appropriate professional definitions of, and the legal and mental health effects of parent alienation.” Another very solid website.
Parental Alienation Information Network (PAIN)
Far from painful, Dr. Glenn Cartwright’s site is a great no-nonsense PA and PAS information source.
child welfare reform, foster care abuse, crime, domestic violence, law, legal, sex offenders, texas
ACTION ALERT:: ELLIS COUNTY PROSECUTOR FREES SEX OFFENDER – SPEAK OUT!

Please speak out against this outrageous move by Patrick Wilson, for the sake of my children and others out there that he WILL victimize. How can this happen years after a guilty plea??

Comments, please, petition, write your congressman, this is outrageous!!!

Child sex offender cases released, charges dismissed

KELLIE ROBINSON
and GLEN JACKSON

The Ellis County Press

WAXAHACHIE – Angel DeJesus Hernandez was alleged to have raped a child.

He plead guilty in 2005 and was given a probation sentence of five years and ordered to pay $1,000 in restitution.

One of the terms of his deal with County Attorney Joe Grubbs’ office was he would have to register as a sex offender if he violated any terms of his sentence. (under deferred adjudication, alleged suspects are not required to register).

Hernandez, according to court documents in the Ellis County District Clerk’s office, committed another act of sexual assault of a child in July of 2006.

This time, the sexual assault charge resulted in another two-year probation sentence with no fine.

Other cases The Ellis County Press has researched include the more recent James Leonard file. The Waxahachie lawyer was placed on 10 years probation for allegedly molesting two girls under the age of 14, according to court records. He has since fled the country to Central America, according to investigators with the Ellis County Sheriff’s Office.

A warrant has since been issued for his arrest. Leonard was placed on probation several days after 40th District Court Judge Gene Knize won a re-nomination battle in the 2006 Republican primary over Midlothian attorney Dan Altman.

Other cases The Ellis County Press has reviewed:

Cause No. 30278CR – Renee June Deguizman
Court records state, ‘�forced sexual organ of �Logan’ (under 17 yoa) to contact and penetrate mouth of defendant. Five years jail and no fine. Plead guilty.’

Cause No. 29502CR – Brian Keith Martin Jr.
Documents state Martin ‘raped �J.D.’ a child under 17 yoa, plead guilty, two years [jail] and no fine.’ Defense attorney Cindy Ermatinger had Martin credited for 91 days off his jail sentence.

Cause No. 30390CR – Ronnie Lynn Cummings Jr.

‘Rape, child under 14 yoa, with penis and vibrator, sodomizing, forced oral sex on her, 40 years each count.’

The prosecutors dismissed the charges of oral sex and assault due to Cummings maintaining his innocence, according to court documents.

Assistant prosecutor Patrick M. Wilson signed the court documents allowing for the dismissal of the case. Defense attorney Cindy Ermatinger filed a writ of habeas corpus, stating the bond of $100,000 was ‘excessive.’

This is not a good thing, this man will re-offend, I’m willing to place my soul on that … OUR CHILDREN WON’T BE SAFE. So my question is what, if anything, does it change for his sentence?! 

How do the on-record victims that each of these pedophiles were convicted for, feel about this? 

 How can this happen after he plead guilty?

Anyone know these answers?
Cause No. 31362CR – James Cotter
‘Rape of a child under 14 yoa, plead guilty, five years in jail, credited 183 days.’
Cause No. 30830CR – Joe Rudy Ramos Jr.

 

Court documents state Ramos Jr. ‘forced �C.F.’ (child under 14) to place her genitals in his mouth.’ Ramos attempted suicide on July 11, 2006 and as a result, prosecutors dismissed the case. Ramos rejected a plea bargain of 10 years deferred adjudication. A trial date had been scheduled for Jan. 9, 2007, but ‘due to vacation plans the state has not had time to adequately prepare child witnesses.’

Cause No. 31045CR – James Edwards
Judgment was entered on Nov. 3, 2006 in Knize’s 40th District courtroom for allegations of aggravated sexual assault of a child, according to court documents. The offense allegedly occurred on Dec. 31, 2004.

Edwards plead guilty and in exchange, he received 10 years deferred adjudication, paid a $2,000 fine and was ordered to perform 720 hours of community service. Edwards, according to the documents, served 149 days in jail and went through sex offender treatment.

Lindy Tober, one of Grubbs’ assistant prosecutors, stated ‘it was in child’s best interest for Edwards to be on deferred adjudication.’

Court documents also reveal the victim was a foster child and that he ‘placed finger in anus of [victim under 14].’

(more…)

britney spears, child custody, cps, law
Judge Rules For K-Fed In Custody Dispute With Britney Spears

BRITNEY SPEARS V. KEVIN FEDERLINE
(Superior Ct. of Calif., County of Los Angeles, Oct. 1, 2007) – L.A. Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon ruled that Britney Spears is to surrender physical custody of her children to ex-husband Kevin ‘K-Fed’ Federline. According to the judge, Federline will “retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 p.m. until further order of the court.” Read more…

Related Resources
Britney v. K-Fed Divorce Case
Mark Kaplan, Federline’s Co-Counsel
James Simon, Federline’s Co-Counsel
Sorrell Trope, Spears’ Lawyer
Child Custody Lawyers
Child Custody and Your Rights

child support, children, education, family, financial, money
Handbook on Child Support Enforcement

(source)

Department of Health and Human Services

Administration for Children and Families

Office of Child Support Enforcement

Handbook on Child Support Enforcement

The Child Support Enforcement (CSE) Program is a Federal/state/local partnership to collect child support: We want to send the strongest possible message that parents cannot walk away from their children. Our goals are to ensure that children have the financial support of both their parents, to foster responsible behavior towards children, to emphasize that children need to have both parents involved in their lives, and to reduce welfare costs.

The Federal CSE Program was established in 1975 as Title IV-D of the Social Security Act. It functions in all states and territories, through the state/county Social Services Department, Attorney General’s Office, or Department of Revenue. Most states work with prosecuting attorneys, other law enforcement agencies, and officials of family or domestic relations courts to carry out the program at the local level. Native American Tribes, too, can operate child support programs in the context of their cultures and traditions with Federal funding.

State Child Support Programs locate noncustodial parents, establish paternity, establish and enforce support orders, modify orders when appropriate, and collect and distribute child support payments. While programs vary from state to state, their services are available to all parents who need them.

The Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. It helps states develop, manage, and operate their programs effectively and according to Federal law. OCSE pays the major share of state program operating costs, provides location services, policy guidance and technical help to enforcement agencies, conducts audits and educational programs, supports research, and shares ideas for program improvement.

We believe that child support enforcement provides hope as well as support to America’s children. We dedicate this Handbook to the millions of parents who put their children first by responsibly providing for their emotional and financial support.

(more…)

child death, child welfare reform, foster care abuse, cps, government, medical, system failure
Children Killed In The Care Of The Government

(Source:Connecticut DCF Watch)

itsalmosttuesday1.jpg

Please take and have a moment of silence for the children below, and pray for these brave children that have given their all in this war. All of these deaths have happened with the support of your tax dollars, and after much protest and begging the government for help in stopping this.

I want to announce and declare the holocaust this is – going on in America today!

Please support us in stopping this

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This is in memory of children who died after social service agencies removed them from the care of their parents, placing them with fosters, adopters, group homes, or psychiatric facilities.

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As you read this list, and cry for these innocent lives that are stolen from them, please do not forget that these are only children that died!

  • This does not include the countless children that are abused in foster care that you never hear about.Also consider how many of these children were taken by mistake or as the result of false allegations.

  • How many of these children would be here with us today were it not for the mistakes of overzealous or negligent social workers/law enforcement officers?

  • How many of these children would be here were it not for the spite referrals called in by embittered ex-spouses or in order to get standing in a custody battle?

  • How many of these children were taken for reasons that could’ve been remedied with in-home services such as substance abuse cases where no abuse/injury to the child existed or because poverty was confused with neglect?

  • How many of these children did not have to die?

ONE child death is too many!


1.. Genesis Acosta-Garcia, Las Vegas Nevada, three months old, November 19, 2005, septic shock

2.. Travis C Adams, Salem Oregon, August 8 2000, December 16 2002, wandered into creek

3.. Kayla Y Allen, Richlands North Carolina, November 10 1995 – August 24 2003, poison

4.. Martin Lee Anderson, Panama City Florida, fourteen years old, January 6 2006, beating/sickle cell

5.. Richard L (Ricky) Aragon, Albuquerque New Mexico, January 24 1991 – April 12 1993, battered

6.. Shirley Arciszewski, Charlotte North Carolina, April 19 1992 – September 11 2004, restraint

7.. Miguel Humberto Arias-Baca, Westminster Colorado, two years old, February 2 1999, battered

8.. Ian August, Sevier Desert Utah, June 21 1988 – July 13, 2002, exhaustion

9.. Denzel Bailey, Los Angeles California, eleven months old, April 2001, malnutrition

10.. Jeffrey Baldwin, Toronto Ontario, December 20 1996 – November 30 2002, malnutrition/pneumonia

11.. Casey Paul Barrow, West Valley Utah, eighteen months old, October 22, 2003, battered

12.. Anthony Bars, Indiana, four years old, January 20 2004, starvation, battered

13.. Shelly Bash, Midland Michigan, eight years old, March 2005, transplant rejection

14.. Nadine Catherine Beaulieu, Dauphin Manitoba, twenty three months old, February 1996, battered

15.. Teddy Bellingham, Smiths Falls Ontario, sixteen years old, August 1992, beaten

16.. Jerome Bennett, Oshawa Ontario, fifteen years old, February 3 2006, homicide

17.. Maria Bennett, Lancaster Ohio, two years old, October 23, 2002, battered

18.. Modesto Blanco, Lubbock Texas, twenty two months old, March 2 2002,battered

19.. Christian Blewitt né sik, Halesowen England, three years old, December 2002, poison/battered

20.. Deondre Bondieumaitre, Florida, sixteen months old, April 16 2003,battered

21.. Timothy Boss, Remsen Iowa, ten years old, February 23 2000, battered

22.. Alex Boucher, New Port Richey Florida, January 25 1997 – September 25 2000, asphyxiation

23.. Ashley Boyd, LaFayette Georgia, twelve years old, December 13 2005, hit by car / suicide

24.. Kerry Brooks, Los Angeles California, nine years old, February 10 2001, suicide

25.. Talitha Brooks, Colorado, one year old, July 1998, heatstroke

26.. Amira Brown, Reading Pennsylvania, twelve years old, September 4 2005, battered / restraint

27.. Diminiqua Bryant, Dothan Alabama, two years old, May 1999, battered

28.. Scott Buckle, Swansea Wales, twelve years old, February 6 2005, hanging

29.. Latasha Bush, Manvel Texas, January 2 1987 – February 28 2002, restraint

30.. Michael Buxton, Miami Oklahoma, five years old, July 5 1998, battered

31.. Eduardo Calzada, Bakersfield California, three months old, March 2004, battered

32.. Chris Campbell, Toledo Iowa, thirteen years old, November 2, 1997, restraint

33.. Gladys Campbell, Philadelphia/New Jersey, two years old, ca 1988

34.. Edith Campos, Tucson Arizona, fifteen years old, February 4 1998, restraint

35.. Latasha Cannon, Boston Massachusetts, seventeen years old, April 2001, slashed throat

36.. Mario Cano, Chula Vista California, sixteen years old, April 27 1984, untreated blood clot

37.. Joshua K Causey, Detroit Michigan, March 21 1998 – March 18 2003, battered

38.. Sherry Charlie, British Columbia, nineteen months old, September 4 2002, battered

39.. Sarah Angelina Chavez, Alhambra California, two years old, October 11 2005, battered

40.. Felix Chen, Bloomington Indiana, August 27 1997 – April 1 2004, treatment withheld

41.. Sky Colon Cherevez, Paterson New Jersey, three months old, August 6, 1998, battered

42.. Tiffany H Clair, Fort Worth Texas, September 6 1985 – May 4 2001, heroin

43.. Brian Clark, New Jersey, three years old, January 2002, untreated pneumonia

44.. Angelic Clary, Bakersfield California, three months old September 14 2003

45.. Roshelle Clayborn, San Antonio Texas, sixteen years old, August 18 1997, restraint

46.. Casey Collier, Westminster Colorado, seventeen years old, December 21 1993, restraint

47.. Desiree Collins, Los Angeles California, fourteen years old, February 10 2002, gunshot

48.. Nicholas Contreras, Queen Creek Arizona, January 15 1982 – March 2 1998, untreated infection

49.. Adrianna Cram, Veracruz Mexico (US supervision), August 25 2000 – June 13 2005

50.. Christopher Henry Cryderman, Springfield Missouri, July 27 2004 – November 22 2004, untreated infection

51.. Dirk D Dalton, Clarkston Washington, June 7 1989 – May 1 1994, battered

52.. Arieale Daniels, Naples Florida, fifteen years old, 1999, car crash

53.. Tajuana Davidson, Phoenix Arizona, three years old, November 3 1993, battered

54.. China Marie Davis, Phoenix Arizona, March 23 1991 – October 31 1993, battered

55.. Sabrina Elizabeth Day, Charlotte North Carolina, July 4 1984 – February 10 2000, restraint

56.. Tyler Jospeh DeLeon, Stevens County Washington, January 13 1998 – January 13 2005, dehydration

57.. Kameron Justin Demery, Long Beach California, two years old, October 14 1996, battered

58.. Connre Dixon, Ridgefield Township Onio eleven years old, October 18, 2004, stabbing

59.. Mark Draheim, Orefield Pennsylvania, October 10 1984 – December 11 1998, restraint

60.. Charmaria Drake, Cleveland Ohio, twenty months old, March 13 2003, battered

61.. Stephanie Duffield, Manvel Texas, July 14 1984 – February 11 2001, restraint

62.. Willie Lawrence Durden III, Citrus County Florida, seventeen years old, October 2005, unknown/died in cell

63.. Brian Edgar, Overland Park Kansas, nine years old, December 30 2002, asphyxiation

64.. William Edgar, Peterborough Ontario, thirteen years old, March 1999, restraint

65.. Tiffany Eilders, Rancho Cucamonga California, fourteen weeks old, December 7 2005, battered

66.. Kayla Erlandson, King County Washington, two years old, April 1991, battered

67.. Luke Evans, Lowell Indiana, sixteen months old, November 30 2001, malnutrition/battered

68.. Roberta (Berta) Evers, Bayfield Colorado, six years old, June 13 1998, restraint

69.. Sara Eyerman, California, twenty months old, ca 1986, untreated pneumonia

70.. Miranda Finn, Lake Butler Florida, nine years old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

71.. Laura Fleming, Palmdale California, October 11 2004 – November 21 2004, cause unknown

72.. Sarah Jane Forrester, Woodlawn Maryland, October 30 1985 – found May 13 1999, battered and stabbed

73.. Kameryn Fountain, Bibb County Georgia, two months old, November 20 2005, unknown cause

74.. Henry Gallop, Boston Massachusetts, two years old, 1987, poison

75.. Alexander Ganadonegro, Albuquerque New Mexico, March 10 1998, February 4 1999, battered

76.. Christening (Mikie) Garcia, Ingram Texas, twelve years old, December 4 2005, restraint

77.. Dylan George, Fremont California, April 16 2002 – October 4 2004, battered

78.. Corese Goldman, Chicago Illinois, two years old, 1995, drowning

79.. Mollie Gonzales, Jefferson County Colorado, ten years old, November 18 2002, drug overdose

80.. Julio Gonzalez, Glendale California, May 10 1995 – December 29 1996, battered

81.. Elizabeth (Lizzy) Goodwin, Coeur d’Alene Idaho, March 22 1996 – October 22 2002, drowning

82.. Anthony Green, Brownwood Texas, fifteen years old, May 12 1991, restraint

83.. Sabrina Green, New York City, nine years old, November 8 1997, burned and battered

84.. Lamar D Greene, Jacksonville Florida, sixteen years old, 2001, car crash

85.. Corey Greer, Treasure Island Florida, four months old, ca 1985, dehydration

86.. Gage Guillen, Boston Massachusetts, three years old, 1995, strangulation

87.. Darvell Gulley, Lincoln Nebraska, thirteen years old, April 27 2002, restraint

88.. Savannah Brianna Marie Hall, Prince George British Columbia, September 9 1997 – January 21 2001, malnutrition/restraint

89.. Latiana Hamilton, Jacksonville Florida, seventeen months old, July 18 2001, drowning

90.. Mykeeda Hampton, District of Columbia, two years old, August 1997, battered

91.. Kelly M Hancock, Malden Massachusetts, November 6 1985 – July 18 2000, stabbed

92.. Laura Hanson, West Palm Beach Florida, May 17 1981 – November 19 1998, restraint

93.. Jerrell Hardiman, La Porte Indiana, four years old, October ca 1993, exposure

94.. Diane Harris, Seguin Texas, seventeen years old, April 11 1990, restraint

95.. Jessica Albina Hagmann, Prince William County Virginia, two years old, August 11 2003, smothered

96.. Letia Harrison, Akron Ohio, October 23 1999 – September 19 2002, baked in attic

97.. Jordan Heikamp, Toronto Ontario, May 19 1997 – June 23 1997, starvation

98.. Eric Hernandez, Cedar Hill Texas, January 6 1999 – March 7 1999, suffocation

99.. Zachary Higier, Massachusetts, May 24 2000 – August 15 2002, battered

100.. Dwight Hill, Tucson Arizona, four months old, November 16 2005, cause unknown

101.. Nina Victoria Hilt né¥ Vika Bazhenova, Manassas Virginia, thirty three months old, July 2 2005, battered

102.. Steven A Hoffa, Des Moines Iowa, February 4 1993 – May 18 1996, battered

103.. Richard (Ricky) Holland, Williamston Michigan, September 8 1997 – July 2005, battered

104.. Michael Anthony Hughes, Choctaw Oklahoma, March 21 1988 – September 12 1994, kidnap/missing

105.. Joseph (Joey) Huot, Philadelphia Pennsylvania, two years old, January 27 1988, battered

106.. Dion Jack, Sproat Lake British Columbia, six years old, March 1 2006, untreated seizure

107.. Walter Jackson, Chicago Illinois, ten months old, August 9 2005, battered

108.. Dominic James, Springfield Missouri, June 4 2000 – August 21 2002, battered

109.. Billie-Jo Jenkins, Hastings East Sussex England, thirteen years old, February 1997, battered

110.. Demetrius Jeffries, Crockett Texas, seventeen years old, August 26 1997, strangulation

111.. Dontel Jeffers, Boston Massachusetts, four years old, March 6 2005, battered

112.. Stephanie Jobin, Brampton Ontario, thirteen years old, June 21 1998, restraint

113.. Aaron Johnson, Boston Massachusetts, fifteen months old, 1987, poison

114.. Xolani Nkosi Johnson, Cape town South Africa, twelve years old, June 2 2001, AIDS

115.. Elijah James Johnson, Los Angeles California, three years old,May 10 1999, scalded

116.. Lorenzo Johnson, Queen Creek Arizona, 17 years old – June 27, 1994, drowned during escape

117.. Quartrina K (Snappy) Johnson, Pikesville Maryland, December 25 1988-July 20 2004, beaten and choked

118.. Christal Jones, New York City (Vermont ward), May 24 1984 – January 3 2001, suffocation

119.. David L Jones, Chicago Illinois, April 15 1992 – March 7 1998, battered

120.. Dennis Jurgens né Serry Sherwood, White Bear Lake Minnesota, three years old, April 11 1965, battered

121.. Marissa (Shorty) Karp, Pompano Beach Florida, December 6 1985 – August 19 2002, gunshot

122.. David Ryan Keeley, New Haven Connecticut, six years old, August 12 1998, battered

123.. Ashley Keen, Lake Butler Florida, thirteen years old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

124.. Cassandra Killpack, Springville Utah, November 29 1997 – June 9 2002, water therapy

125.. Ahmad King né ‘awls, Alma Georgia, three years old, January 24 2006, homicide

126.. Heather Michell Kish, Berlin Township Michigan, September 15 1987 – found October 6 2002, murdered

127.. Noah Knapp, Marysville Washington, six years old, May 30 2005, automobile collision

128.. Zaire Knott, Newark New Jersey, September 16 2005 – October 20 2005, cause unknown

129.. Anatoli Kolenda, Westfield Massachusetts, May 20 1991 – October 20 2002, stabbing

130.. Yana Kolenda, Westfield Massachusetts, December 31 1990 – October 20 2002, stabbing

131.. Anthony Lamb, Lake Butler Florida, twenty months old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

132.. Keisha Shardae Lane, Hagerstown Maryland, fifteen years old, August 17 2005, gunshot

133.. Shawn Lawrence né ndy Mohler, Shelton Washington, ten years old, October 9 1999, drowning

134.. Brittany Legler, Millcreek Pennsylvania, fifteen years old, May 9 2004, battered

135.. Jacob Lindorff, Franklin Township New Jersey, five years old December 14 2001, battered

136.. Christian Liz, New York City, three weeks old, November 29 2004, suffocation

137.. James Lonnee, Guelph/Hamilton Ontario, sixteen years old, September 7 1996, beaten by cellmate

138.. Gregory Love, Florida, twenty three months old, April 2005, head injury

139.. Nikki Lutke, Cheyenne Wyoming, five years old, August 28 2003, drowning

140.. Zachary James Lyons, Winston-Salem North Carolina, January 24 1992 – October 8 1996, battered

141.. Shaquella Mance, Belton South Carolina, seven months old, March 27 2005, battered

142.. Elizabeth Mann, Lake Butler Florida, fifteen years old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

143.. Heaven Mann, Lake Butler Florida, three years old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

144.. Johnny Mann, Lake Butler Florida, thirteen years old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

145.. Cynthia Nicole (Nicki) Mann, Lake Butler Florida, fifteen years old, January 25 2006, traffic accident

146.. Logan Marr, Chelsea Maine, October 14 1995 – January 31 2001, asphyxiation

147.. Stephanie Martinez, Pueblo Colorado, five years old, December 31 2001, untreated burns

148.. Tiffany Laverne Mason, Folsom California, June 11 1986 – August 9 2001, battered

149.. Viktor Alexander Matthey né – Sergeyevich Tulimov, Hunterdon County New Jersey, six years old, October 31 2000, hypothermia

150.. Dominic Matz, Osawatomie Kansas, July 6 2002 – February 15 2004, treatment withheld

151.. Jamie Mayne, Atascadero California, March 24 1995 – February 10 2000, battered

152.. Kristal Mayon-Ceniceros, Chula Vista California, sixteen years old, February 5 1999, restraint

153.. Emily Ann Mays, Tucson Arizona, sixteen months old, August 24 2005, battered

154.. Andrew McClain, Bridgeport Connecticut, December 6 1986 – March 22 1998, restraint

155.. Cory Bradley McLaughlin, North Carolina, four years old, July 4 1997, battered

156.. Jerry McLaurin, Brownwood Texas, fourteen years old, November 2 1999, restraint

157.. Maria Mendoza, Katy Texas, fourteen years old, October 12 2002,restraint

158.. Caleb Jerome Merchant, Edmonton Alberta, thirteen months old, November 26, 2005, battered

159.. Denis Merryman né .ritsky, Harford County Maryland, eight years old, January 2005, starvation

160.. Jacob Miller, Georgia, twenty two months old, November 20 1997, battered

161.. Clayton Miracle, Georgia, three years old, August 11 1993, battered

162.. Hanna Denise Montessori, Santa Ana California, March 16 1988 – January 19 2004, homicide/head-injury

163.. Alfredo Montez, Auburndale Florida, two years old, July 1 2002, battered

164.. Zachary Moran, Charlotte North Carolina, fourteen months old, August 8 2003, battered

165.. Christina Morlan, Scott County Iowa, September 3 2003 – November 30 2003, unknown

166.. Carlyle Mullins, Nashville Tennessee, five years old, May 27 2005, battered

167.. Cedrick Napoleon, Killeen Texas, June 26 1987 – March 7 2002, restraint

168.. Candace Newmaker né¥ C Tiara Elmore, Colorado, November 19 1989 – April 19 2000, re-birth asphyxiation

169.. Jonathan Nichol, Cook County Illinois, two years old, June 16 1995, drowning

170.. Trevor Nolan, Mono County California, five years old, April 12 1997, treatment withheld

171.. Sierra Odom, Arlington Texas, three years old, August 11 2005, battered

172.. Keron Owens, Walterboro South Carolina, three years old, January 19 1992, battered

173.. Sean Paddock né ?ord, Johnston County North Carolina, four years old, February 26 2006, battered

174.. Omar Paisley, Miami Florida, seventeen years old, June 2003, untreated appendicitis

175.. Terrell Parker, Buffalo New York, two years old, 2003, battered

176.. Travis Parker, Cleveland Georgia, thirteen years old, April 21 2005, restraint

177.. Alex Pavlis, Schaumburg Illinois, six years old, December 19 2003, battered

178.. Dawn Renay Perry, Manvel Texas, sixteen years old, April 10 1993, restraint

179.. Angellica Pesante, Seneca County New York, four years old, April 18 1997, battered

180.. Terrell Peterson, Atlanta Georgia, five years old, January 16 1998, battered

181.. Cynteria Phillips, Miami Florida, December 10 1986 – August 14 2000, rape/murder

182.. Marguerite Pierre, West Orange New Jersey, five years old, December 2005, poison

183.. Emporia Pirtle, Indiana, six years old, November 11 1996, battered

184.. Jason Plischkowsky, Southampton England, May 25 1985 – December 19 1986, head injury

185.. Huntly Tamati Pokaia, New Zealand, three years old

186.. David Polreis, Greeley Colorado, two years old, February 6 1996, battered

187.. Maryah Ponce, Rialto California, December 5 1997 – June 29 2001, baked in car

188.. Constance S Porter, Kearney Missouri, July 20 1998 – February 12 2001, battered

189.. Dakota Denzel Prince-Smith, Lancaster California, five years old, July 8 2003, baked in car

190.. Nehamiah Nate Prince-Smith, Lancaster California, three years old, July 8 2003, baked in car

191.. Karen Quill, St Louis Saskatchewan, twenty months old,September 13 1997, internal injuries

192.. Rodrigo Armando Rameriez Jr, Victorville California, eighteen months old, July 6 2001, drowning

193.. Stephanie Ramos, New York City, eight years old, July 9 2005, dumped in garbage can

194.. Bobby Jo Randolph, Houston Texas, seventeen years old, September 26 1996, asphyxiation

195.. Jacquelyn Reah, Grand Rapids Michigan, ten years old, November 27 2004, runaway / hit by car

196.. Latayna Reese, Bradenton Florida, fifteen years old, April 1996

197.. Caprice Reid, New York City, four years old, June 1997, starved and battered

198.. Jonathan Reid, Gardena California, nine years old, June 9 1997treatment withheld

199.. Matthew Reid, Welland Ontario, three years old, December 15 2005, suffocation

200.. Dustin Rhodes, Litchfield Park Arizona, nine years old, August 13 2003, battered

201.. Eric Roberts, Keene Texas, June 16 1979 – February 22 1996, restraint

202.. Ana Rogers, Sparks Nevada, four months old, July 2005, pre-existing injury

203.. Genevieve “Genny” Rojas, Chula Vista California, four years old, July 21 1995, starvation, scalded

204.. Paola Rosales, Milton Ontario, fourteen years old, July 3 2001, suicide

205.. Kyle Anthony Ross, Massachusetts, September 7 1995 – June 9 2001, rottweiler

206.. Marlon Santos, Worcester Massachusetts, five months old, November 5 1998, missing

207.. Andres E Saragos, Warm Springs Oregon, August 5 1995 – July 13 2000, baked in car

208.. Gina M Score, Plankinton South Dakota, May 7 1985 – July 21 1999, baked by boot camp

209.. Caprice Scott, Florida, infant, 1999, mother in foster care

210.. Ryan Scott, Sheffield Lake Ohio, two years old, March 27 1998, battered

211.. Krystal Scurry, Aiken County South Carolina, February 1989 – November 2 1991, rape/murder

212.. Andrew (Andy) Setzer, California, April 27 1995 – August 2 1999, battered

213.. Ariel Shaw, Bibb County Georgia, nineteen months old, January 26 2000, battered

214.. Vivan Uk Sheppard, Jacksonville Florida, eight months old, May 15 1999, suffocation

215.. Joseph H Shriver, Pennsylvania, March 2 1997 – October 5 1997, battered

216.. Quincey L Simmons, Omaha Nebraska, August 21 1997 – March 24 2001, battered

217.. Christopher Simpson, Michigan, seven years old, November 14 1998, fire

218.. Jordan Simpson Howell Morrison II, Howell Michigan, five years old, November 14 1998, fire

219.. Nicole Simpson , Michigan, seven years old, November 14 1998, fire

220.. Devin A Slade, Milwaukee Wisconsin, October 23 2000 – June 19 2001, asphyxiation

221.. John Smith, Fishersgate England, four years old, December 24 1999, battered and bitten

222.. Mikinah Smith, Cincinnati Ohio, one year old, March 18 2003, battered

223.. Tristan Sovern, Greensboro North Carolina, sixteen years old, March 4 1998, restraint

224.. Jushai Spurgeon, North Las Vegas Nevada, fourteen months old, April 3 2005, scalding

225.. LeRon St John, Detroit Michigan, fifteen years old, March 1 2003, untreated tuberculosis

226.. Lloyd Stamp, Edmonton Alberta, seventeen years old, September 29, 2005, suicide

227.. Tommy Stacey, Carmichael California, three months old, January 3 2005, SIDS

228.. Elizabeth (Lisa) Steinberg né¥ Launders, New York City, May 14 1981 – November 4 1987, battered

229.. Yasmin Taylor, Paterson New Jersey, seven months old, May 8 1994, virus

230.. Lakeysha Tharp, Irmo South Carolina, six months old, April 7 2004, asphyxiation

231.. Adam Michael Thimyan, Riverview Florida, October 2 1986 – April 3 2004, gunshot

232.. Timithy Thomas, Banner Elk North Carolina, nine years old, March 11 1999, restraint

233.. Liam Thompson né “mitry S Ishlankulov, Columbus Ohio, October 3 1999 – October 3 2002, scalding

234.. Michael Tinning, Schenectady New York, two years old, March 2 1981, asphyxiation

235.. Kelly Ann Tozer, Egg Harbor City New Jersey, eighteen months old, July 30 2005, drowning

236.. Patrick Trauffler, Phoenix Arizona, six weeks old, February 18 2003, battered

237.. Demetrius Tyler, Johnson City Tennessee, six months old, November 10 2004, drowning

238.. Tyler Vanpopering, Southgate Michigan, September 23 2003 – April 14 2004, battered

239.. Jacqueline Venay, Philadelphia Pennsylvania, six years old, September 21 1998, battered

240.. George Walker III, DeKalb County Georgia, ten months old, November 7, 2002, choking

241.. Michelle Walton, Boston Massachusetts, October 6 1994, asphyxiation

242.. Erickyzha Warner, Utica New York, July 19 2002 – May 31, 2004, untreated burns

243.. Shane Devell Washington, Fresno California, fifteen months old, circa 1996, drowning

244.. Evan Watkins, Las Vegas Nevada, twenty one months old, July 11 1996, battered

245.. Devin Wilder, Cleveland Ohio, July 29 1998 – April 21 2001, battered

246.. Dominic J Williams, Saint Louis Missouri, June 8 1987 – June 3 2004,strangulation

247.. Andrew Wilson, Owensboro Kentucky, three years old, August 7 2005, drowning

248.. Lorenzo J Wilson, Seattle Washington, January 29 2004 – October 22 2004, battered

249.. Rilya Wilson, Florida, born September 29 1996, disappeared 2001

250.. Michael Spencer Wiltsie, Silver Springs Florida, September 18 1987 – February 5, 2000, restraint

251.. Jimmy Allan Wood, Adams County Colorado, fourteen years old, November 13 2002, drug overdose

252.. Jonnie Wood, Springdale Arkansas, eight years old, August 13 2005, drowning

253.. Braxton D Wooden, Missouri, May 15 1997 – June 2 2005, gunshot

254.. Donte L Woods, West Palm Beach Florida, February 25 1986 – May 27 2002, gunshot

255.. Thomas (T J) Wright, Providence Rhode Island, three years old, October 31 2004, battered

256.. Willie Wright, San Antonio Texas, fourteen years old, March 4 2000, restraint

257.. Rufus Manzie Young Jr, Michigan, four years old, April 6 2003, battered

258.. Rebecca Brittany Bacon, Orlando, FL gastro-reflux (infant left alone with bottle)

259.. Anastasia (Staci”Space Cadet”) Herbert and Larry Alexander Herbert (Baby Larry), Orlando, FL Killed in a fire