That man was (not) my friend–Tuesday’s Grieving: Sort Of

I can’t reconcile this. I just can’t.

THE MAN WHO KILLED THESE CHILDREN WAS NOT MY FRIEND, BUT… HE WAS…. BUT…If I can’t reconcile this, how can anyone?….the couple was going through hard times, … but this? I just can’t reconcile… How can any parent kill their children? How could he?

Well, thats something that only he knows…. and whatever force made him do it.

Almost Tuesday is mourning the two children, Skyler Montgomery and Canyon Montgomery, ages 5 and 21 months…. I remember their birthdays and how a proud papa called me to announce…

If I had said, “Scott, in 5 years you’re going to murder that baby…” he’d have told me I was crazy…. he’d never believe it.

this was not the man I knew

Neither can I now…

I met Scott briefly in 1995 when my girlfriend threw me a baby shower for my son’s upcoming birth. Scott was a neighbor. He came over bearing gifts – simple gifts – a couple bottles & pacifiers for my soon to be newborn son. He was not anyone I knew, but heard about the shower, and thought it’d be the neighborly thing to do.

Later in life, after a mutual friend of ours was brutally and tragically murdered in 1996. We were at the funeral and met again & Scott gave me a ride back from Louisiana to Texas after it was all over. We were friends from then on. In fact, our friendship grew into such a close friendship that we often said we were one soul split apart from each other at the start; our lives emulated each other’s lives a lot, and we worked so well together spiritually, that sometimes we’d seem to think with one brain; communicate from over a distance telepathically, and feel when something’s wrong. We ran into each other at the emergency room one time in Dallas, both of us had loved ones admitted, and so I was able to be there at the exact time to help him through his mother’s passing. After that he sought healing through a spiritual adviser named Margie. He called me one evening and said, ” I felt my mother’s hands, I could say goodbye to her through this lady I met…. you have to go meet her…”

I did, and another friendship was born. The three of us met often, discussing spiritual ideas and practices, and implementing them in our lives.

After losing a friend to murder, sorrow had the best of us, and we all had the strong desire to start over. Scott & his new girlfriend headed to the mountains in Colorado and I took off for the beaches of Florida. He and his bride-to-be flew to Florida to attend my wedding, and I went to Colorado to theirs. We went camping in Santa Fe New Mexico , listened to countless hours of music & loving certain lyrics that grabbed our hearts.

Our favorite songs together were What’s Up by 4-Non blond, Tomorrow Wendy and Caroline by Concrete Blonde and I Wanna Be There by Blessed Union Of Souls.

Every Thursday night we’d call each other after watching Survivor. Scott was always trying to get me to tell him who won before the show aired there, in Colorado, where the time zone was several hours difference.

I never told.

I saw his amazement when he learned of his daughter, and we all went for a day at the zoo. I saw the love in his eyes for Kari. I saw a future open wide for them, the beautiful redheaded couple…

I didn’t see this coming though….

Man Shot; Deputies Find 2 Dead Children Inside Home

Their father was identified as 37-year-old Scott Montgomery. Read the whole story here.

El Paso County Deputies Shoot, Kill Man Believed To Be Father

POSTED: 7:39 pm MDT June 22, 2008 UPDATED: 7:50 pm MDT June 23, 2008

MANITOU SPRINGS, Colo. — Sheriff’s deputies shot and killed a man suspected of killing his two young sons in his home before deputies arrived Sunday.

El Paso County sheriff’s deputies were checking the man’s home around 4:45 p.m. after the children’s mother told authorities she was worried he might hurt their children, ages 2 and 5, sheriff’s Lt. Lari Sevene said.

Deputies who arrived in the gated mountain community got no answer at the door and looked through a window to see two boys laying on the bed with a “significant of blood on or around them,” Sevene said.

Related To Story

She could not confirm what injuries they had or how they might have been injured but the sight of so much blood in the bedroom forced deputies to act quickly.

Deputies burst into the home and were confronted by the father, who was wielding a knife, so they opened fire, Sevene said. She said a deputy shot the man, who died.

The children did not survive either.

I remember Scott calling me the morning after his birth. “He’s perfect….just perfect…” is what he told me about Skyler. He was perfect, and a gift…. now and his brother’s are angels…

My friend Scott would not have done this, so the man who he became that day, or in the months or year prior, is a stranger to me. Scott stood up for domestic violence victims in the past when I knew him, namely myself, after many incidents I had gone through with my exhusband. Scott never indicated to me that he was a danger to any children, much less his own…. but then again, he wasn’t in the same set of circumstances at the time I was around. Losing everything can lead to desperation. I don’t know what the situation was with his marriage falling apart or domestic violence, I wasn’t there. He hadn’t called or talked to me much over the last few years, and I wish he had. Maybe it would’ve helped.

Maybe nothing could’ve helped and it was inevitable. Maybe he reached a breaking point of some kind for whatever reason, I don’t know…. but it wasn’t something that the Scott I knew would have done without something catastrophic…

Now, my heart goes out to Kari, wherever you are, girl, i love you and so does all the folks from D-Town and we’re all praying for you and keeping you close in our thoughts. Get in touch if you need anything … email me at … and don’t listen to the haters. They don’t understand or know you. Nobody can judge another without having been in their shoes, even Scott. THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION for hurting those babies, but there is much strength in your willingness to come forth with forgiveness, that is an act of great strength… forgiveness is not about the person who did the harm, it is about your own healing.

How do I reconcile my grief for my friend with the shock of the acts he committed against his babies?!

How? Its difficult.

I pray for his soul.

I pray for the families and for Kari.

I wish I’d had more time to know Skyler and Canyon.

I grieve:

sort of….






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