“In total, I have been to at least five or six or even seven foster homes because my mother would not quit looking for me.” by Gabrielle, age 11

Fostering Perspectives tries to reflect the voices of people involved in North Carolina’s child welfare system.

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 Its All About Them – The Children –

*Names changed to protect confidentiality.

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My life turned upside down

by Gabrielle, age 11

My life turned upside down when I was taken away from my mother. I was at least eight or nine years old. It was painful and difficult, I did not know what to do. I was crying and screaming for my mother to help me, while she was crying and screaming for them to let me go. To this very day I still feel sad and emotional about the day I left.

See, I did not know why they took me until they told me. The cops said that my mother had been shoplifting and I was confused. I said to myself, my mother would never do that, if she did it was to make me happy! The officer asked me if my mother had taken her medicine lately. I thought and remembered that my mother had illnesses. She had diseases that are too long to pronounce. When I was little I remember calling the ambulance for them to come and get her.

All of a sudden BAAMM!!! It hit me. All this crying and screaming because of what my mother had done. I asked the policeman, “Where am I going?” The officer replied, “you are going to a place to stay for a while.” He said it was called a “foster home.” I was so scared. I thought I would never see her again. But I did and the more I saw her the more I moved, and the more I moved the worse I felt.

In total, I have been to at least five or six or even seven foster homes because my mother would not quit looking for me. After awhile it got better. I went to live with my uncle. But then my mom came to the house and grabbed me and took me home with her. I was so happy to see my mommy. But the happiness only lasted two days. The cops came and again, so long Mommy.

But then I lived with this new foster parent named Ms. Martha and I stay with her now. She has been super nice to me and I have been with her for two years. And now I am eleven years old. To me, that is a lot of years in the system. I am up for adoption and pray that it will be the last move.

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Jimmicka, age 10

Dear Mama,

I don’t know where you are and sometimes I’m worried that you are dead. I wonder why you didn’t want to come to our good-bye visit, and why you don’t call our social worker. I feel scared that maybe something happened to you. I love you, Mama. Why did you do this? Why did you make us go into foster care? I wish you had kept us healthy by not giving us too much junk food. I wish you hadn’t let anything hurt us, like the way Anthony hurt Laitsha’s arm. When we were in the hospital for the doctors to fix Laitsha’s arm, I was feeling scared. When Anthony got arrested I was happy.

Mama, I’m sad that we got taken away from you. I want you to be happy, but I don’t think you are happy about me being adopted. I wish you could understand that I am in a good place now with Brigitte and Phil, because they do stuff with us we’ve never done before, and they discipline us, and they love us. Mama I hope that you are in a safe place, not hurt, and not worried. I hope that you are happy. I hope that you know we love you.

Love, Jimmicka

Jimmicka’s letter took first prize, for which she was awarded $100

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Lakeisha, age 13

Mama:

.I’m living with this African lady just until the end of the school year, then I’m going back to this lady named Jane.* She is really nice, but don’t worry, she will never be as good as you. And just to let you know, every foster parent I have lived with, I called them by their name and not mama, because I only have one mama, and that is you. I am very proud to be your daughter. . . .Maybe one day me, you, Derrick, and Tony can go to Busch Gardens as a family. DSS is always telling me I am never going to see you again, but I don’t listen to them. They’re just trying to turn me against you, but it ain’t goin’ work. Cause when I turn 18, I’m coming to live with you. I don’t care what anybody says, I’m coming to live with my Mama. See Mama, now I’m 13 years old. I only got five more years until I get to see you. That’s not that long, is it?

Lakeisha’s letter took second prize, for which she was awarded $50.
*Name changed to protect confidentiality

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Destiny, age 8

Dear Momma,

I feel very, very sad that I can’t see you anymore. I hope to see you one day. You are a very good person. I wish that I could toss a coin and I could wish for anything I want. I wish I could be rich and I wish I could have $100 and I wish I could have a butler. I’d give DSS $100 and then they could give me back to you and we could all live together again. I hope you will be able to see my brothers again. I miss you very much and I love you.

I am a very healthy girl and John and Jane* take care of me. They would never hurt me. I am meeting some new friends at school.

I hope I find a good home when I can be adopted.

When I grow up I want to be a doctor or an author.

Love, Destiny

Destiny’s letter took third prize, for which she was awarded $25.